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Poetry and Writings

THE SHADOW MAN


BEFORE I BEGIN THIS STORY I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO PUT IT IN A FORM THAT IS GRAMMERICALLY CORRECT ... THERE ARE TOO MANY EMOTIONS ATTACHED TO IT.

NOR DO I KNOW IF ANYONE WILL TRULY BELIEVE ME BUT KNOW WHEN I TELL THIS I AM DOING SO BECAUSE I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW ... THAT THERE ARE THINGS OUT HERE WE HAVE NO CLUE ABOUT AND HOW THEY CAN INTERFERE WITH OUR LIVES IS JUST UNCANNY... I CAN'T BE ALONE IN THIS ... YET

WELL ON TO EXPLAINING THIS AS BEST AS I CAN RIGHT NOW AND I MAY COME BACK WHEN MEMORIES FLOOD IN AND SAY PUT MORE DETAIL HERE OR REMEMBER THAT ADD IT ...

FRANKLY I DON'T KNOW WHY I AM TELLING IT BUT KNOW I BELIEVE IN GOD AND GODDESS FOR A REASON... I WEAR A SILVER CROSS ALWAYS ... I WEAR A MEDALION TO PROTECT ME ALWAYS AND THIS IS WHY...

THE SHADOW MAN

REWRITTEN FROM MY MOTHER'S TYPED PAGES AND ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY LIFE BEFORE AND SINCE THAT

TIMEFRAME I CAN REMEMBER

I HAVE TAKEN THE NAMES OUT AND REPLACED THEM

TO PROTECT THE REAL PEOPLE THAT WERE IN THIS

S.JENSEN (C)2015

IN THE WINTER OF 1992 DURING CHRISTMAS VACATION, MY DAUGHTER HAD MADE HER WAY FROM THE UNIVERSITY THAT SHE HAD BEEN ATTENDING FOR ABOUT THREE YEARS TO SPEND SOME WELL EARNED TIME WITH ME. I WAS IN THE PROCESS OF COMPLETING MY MASTER'S DEGREE AND ALSO WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO SPENDING A PEACEFUL SERENE TYPE VACATION BREAK FOR ABOUT TWO WEEKS. THE PACE HAD BEEN ROUGH JUST BEFORE THIS CHRISTMAS BREAK. WE WERE SITTING BACK AND LAUGHING AND TALKING, JUST ENJOYING BEING ALIVE!! (CAUSE MY FATHER HAD DIED THREE YEARS BEFORE WITH A HEART ATTACK) A VIDEO WAS IN THE VCR. IT WAS ONE OF THE POPULAR COMEDY MOVIES THAT WERE BLARING ACROSS THE SCREEN ON THE TV. THE MOOD WAS ONLY OF GAIETY, LIGHT-HEARTED JOYFUL FUN. MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER WHO WAS IN THE TENTH GRADE IN A HIGH SCHOOL PREP SCHOOL MORE FOR COLLEGE ON A COLLEGE CAMPUS WAS HOME TOO FOR THE HOLIDAY. SHE WAS IN HER ROOM LISTENING TO HER STEREO AND THE MUSIC PLAYING LOUD WIDE OPEN AS USUAL. THE ROOM WAS FILLED TO OVER FLOWING WITH MANY OF HER FRIENDS. MANY OF BOTH OF MY DAUGHTER'S FRIENDS WERE EACH OTHER'S FRIENDS. THE YOUNG PEOPLE SEEMED TO ALWAYS ENJOY SPENDING TIME WITH US BECAUSE OF THE FUN AND LIVELY CONVERSATION THAT WAS ALWAYS FLOWING IN THE RELAXED HAPPY GO LUCKY ATMOSPHERE.

MY SON WAS OUT BACK WORKING ON HIS ELECTRONICS PROJECT AS USUAL WITH HIS FRIENDS THE LOCAL GUYS FROM HIS HIGH SCHOOL GROUP THEY CALLED EACH OTHER THE LOST BOYS. HIS GIRLFRIEND WHO HAD BEEN WITH HIM FOR ABOUT TWO YEARS AND WAS MY OLDEST DAUGHTERS AGE. SHE HAD BEEN IN THE SAME CLASSES IN HIGH SCHOOL AS MY DAUGHTER AND WERE FRIENDS. SHE LOVES TO CRACK THE JOKES CONSTANTLY. I LIKE HER ATTITUDE SHE DOESN'T TAKE MUCH FROM HIM, CHUCKLE.

THE HOUR WAS LATE SOMEWHERE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF AROUND MIDNIGHT OR SO. THE LIGHTS IN THE LIVING ROOM WERE OUT AS WELL AS IN THE KITCHEN. THE ONLY LIGHT THAT WAS VISIBLE WAS COMING FROM THE HALLWAY AND THE CARPORT. THE KIDS FRIENDS HAD ALL GONE HOME EXCEPT THE TWO THAT MY CHILDREN WERE DATING AT THE MOMENT. MY OLDEST AND I WERE ALONE IN FRONT OF THE TELEVISION SET ON WATCHING THE COMEDY WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE WAS THIS NOISE LIKE SOMEONE SLAMMING THE CABINET DOOR IN THE KITCHEN, BUT NO ONE WAS THERE. THIS LOUD NOISE CAUSED US TO TURN IN THE DIRECTION OF THE KITCHEN AND INSTANTY WE BOTH SAW THIS HUGE BLACK SHADOW OF A TALL FIGURE CAST ACROSS THE KITCHEN CABINETS. WE FIRST THOUGHT THAT SOMEONE HAD BROKEN INTO THE HOUSE. THE FIGURE LOOKED REAL AND SOLID BUT THEN IT TURNED AT US, TURNED AS IF TO WALK TOWARD THE HALLWAY FROM WHERE IT CAME, AND JUST MELTED AWAY. WHAT HAD WE SEEN!!! JUST NOW... THE SHADOW WAS TOO LARGE FOR A PERSON, LOOKED ALL BLACK WITH A SHARP NOSE AS A FEATURE, AND AS FAR AS I COULD TELL HE WAS DRESSED IN A LONG FLOWING TYPE CAPE. HE LOOKED SOMETHING LIKE YOU WOULD SEE A VAMPIRE WEAR IN THE OLD HORROR MOVIES, BUT I GUESSED THAT HE WASN'T A VAMPIRE THAT FIRST IMPRESSION WAS NOT CORRECT. WHATEVER IT WAS HE DEFINITELY GAVE THE IMPRESSION OF A DANGEROUS MALICIOUS SPIRIT, BUT HE DID NOT BOTHER US OTHER THAN FRIGHTEN US OUT OF OUR WITS. I SENSED FROM IT EMANATED A STRONG BEND TOWARDS EVIL, WICKEDNESS, AND OVERALL DANGER;

NEEDESS TO SAY, WE DIDN'T GET ANY SLEEP THAT NIGHT FOR FEAR THAT IT MIGHT COME BACK. WE BOTH TALKED ABOUT THE DARK SHADOW THAT APPEARED AND WONDERED IF WE ACTUALLY SAW WHAT WE THOUGHT WE SAW. IT HAD BEEN A REAL LONG DAY SO WE QUESTIONED THIS SIGHTING AS MAYBE BEING A HALUCINATION EXCEPT THAT WE BOTH SAW IT AT THE SAME TIME. ALSO, THERE WAS THE NOISE WHICH CAUSED US TO LOOK IN THAT DIRECTION. IT WAS AS IF IT WANTED TO CALL OUR ATTENTION TO IT. AS WE TALKED WE CONSIDERED THAT SOMEONE HAD SENT THIS BEING TO THREATEN US, OR AS THE RESULT OF A SPELL WHICH AT THE TIME SEEMED TOTALLY LUDICROUS. WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY ENEMIES OR KNOW ANY REASON FOR ANYONE DO SUCH A THING.

THE FIGURE DIDN'T SEEM TO FIT THE TRADITIONAL GHOST STORIES, OR THE GRIM REAPER, DEATH-TYPE CHARACTER THAT ONE USUALLY THINKS ABOUT WHEN TRYING TO IDENTIFY THIS KIND OF APPARITION. THIS WAS ONLY THE BEGINNING. THIS FIGURE APPEARED TO US SEVERAL TIMES AFTER THIS INCIDENT AS WELL AS TO OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS. AFTER MUCH REFECTION, I STILL DO NOT KNOW WHY?

MY UNCLE, WHO IS AN OLDER GENTLEMAN OF ABOUT 87, HEARD A NOISE IN HIS KITCHEN BY THE REFRIGERATOR AS A RESULT HIS FIRST THOUGHT WAS THAT SOMEONE HAD BROKEN INTO HIS HOUSE AND WAS STANDING THERE. THE INTERESTING THING ABOUT THIS IS THAT HE IS PRACTICALLY DEAF AND COULD HARDLY HEAR WHAT YOU WERE SAYING TO HIM, SO HOW DID HE HEAR THE SHADOW MAN UNLESS THAT WAS A VERY VERY LOUD NOISE. HE SLOWLY AND CAUTIOUSY GOT OUT OF BED AND PICKED UP HIS SHOTGUN. HE CAREFULLY WALKED INTO HIS KITCHEN. WHEN HE COULD SEE BETTER, HE REALIZED THAT IT WAS A SHADOW OF A VERY TALL MAN STANDING THERE IN THE ROOM. HE ALMOST SHOT OFF THE GUN BEFORE REALIZING THAT IT WAS ONLY A SHADOW. THE SHADOW MAN, A NAME THAT I HAVE GIVEN THIS BEING, TURNED AND STARED AT HIM WHICH HE SAID FELT LIKE ICE AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE HE FELT REAL FEAR. HE WAS A MEDIC DURING WORLD WAR II, AND WAS IN GENERAL PATTON'S REGIMENT. HE SAID THAT HE HAD NEVER EXPERIENCED ANYTHING JUST LIKE THIS INCIDENT. MY UNCLE WAS AFRAID TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID THAT PEOPLE WOULD THINK THAT HE HAD COMPLETELY LOST HIS MIND. HE TURNED BACK TOWARD THE BEDROOM AND SAW THAT HIS WIFE WAS STILL ASLEEP IN THE BED WHERE HE HAD BEEN ONLY A FEW MOMENTS AGO. ALL OF THIS OCCURRED ABOUT A MONTH AFTER WE HAD THE EXPERIENCE OF SEEING THE SHADOW MAN.

MY UNCLE'S GRANDDAUGHTER, WHO GOT MARRIED A COUPLE OF WEEKS LATER, MOVED INTO AN APARTMENT AND WAS UP LATE ONE NIGHT. SHE HAD JUST RETIRED TO BED AND HEARD A LOUD NOISE IN THE HALLWAY. HER HUSBAND WAS WORKING LATE AND SHE WAS EXTREMELY SCARED BECAUSE SHE WAS NOT USED TO BEING ALONE. SHE MADE HER WAY CAUTIOUSLY AND QUIETLY INTO THE HALLWAY AND THERE SHE SAW AS WELL AS EXPERIENCED THE SAME TYPE OF SHADOW MAN GHOST LIKE CREATURE THAT WE HAD PREVIOUSY SEEN. THIS YOUNG WOMAN SAID THAT SHE JUST FROZE AND COULD NOT MOVE BECAUSE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER WAS THIS TALL SHADOWY LOOKING MAN WHO WAS GAZYING INTENTLY AT HER.

BOTH MY UNCLE AND HIS GRANDDAUGHTER TOLD ME ABOUT THEIR EXPERIENCES ONE SUNDAY AFTER CHURCH. I ALSO RELATED MY DAUGHTER'S ENCOUNTER AND MY OWN WITH THE SHADOW MAN. WHEN I FINISHED THE ACCOUNT, WE REALIZED THAT WE ALL HAD A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE. THIS IS WHEN THEY FELT SOME RELIEF THAT SOMEONE ELSE OTHER THAN THEY HAD SEEN THIS SHADOW MAN. WE TALKED ABOUT HOW IT COULD BE REPRESENTING DEATH OR DANGER TO SOME MEMBER OF OUR FAMILY, BUT WE REALLY DIDN'T BELIEVE IT. WE ALL FELT THAT IT WAS A BAD OMEN OF SOME SORT.

MY MOTHER, WHO IS IN HER EIGHTIES, ALSO SAW THE BEING. SHE WAS ASLEEP AT THE TIME AND IT WAS SOMEWHERE AFTER MIDNIGHT WHEN THE SHADOWY FIGURE APPEARED TO HER. SHE LOOKED UP AND SAW SOMEONE AND AT FIRST SHE THOUGHT THAT FIGURE WAS AN INTRUDER, OR MAYBE THE GHOST OF HER HUSBAND. THEN, SHE REALIZED THAT IT WAS A DARK AND SINISTER BEING. MOTHER THOUGHT FOR SURE THAT HER TIME HAD COME AND THE SHADOW MAN WAS THERE TO TAKE HER AWAY LIKE IN THE STORIES OF THE GRIM REAPER. SHE WAS NOT FRIGHTENED OF DEATH, BUT OF THIS BEING WHICH SHE NEITHER COULD UNDERSTAND NOR WANTED TOO. WHY DID IT APPEAR TO HER? TO ANY OF US TO THIS DAY WE STILL DON'T HAVE ANY ANSWERS.

IN A PERIOD OF ABOUT TWO YEARS, THIS SHADOW LIKE BEING APPEARED TO US SEVERAL TIMES. MY OLDEST DAUGHTER AND I SAW IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN. WHEN SHE WENT BACK TO THE UNIVERSITY WHERE SHE WAS STUDYING ART, HER ROOMMATE ALSO SAW IT BUT COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT SHE SAW.

MY DAUGHTER AND HER FRIENDS LIKE TO PLAY DUNGEON AND DRAGONS, MEGA TRAVELER, AND OTHER ROLE PLAYING GAMES. IT APPEARED TO ALL OF THEM LATE ONE NIGHT AFTER THEY HAD BEEN UP PLAYING A GAME. HER ROOMMATE HAD A HABIT OF BRUSHING OFF THINGS OR DISMISSING THAT WHICH SHE COULD NOT UNDERSTAND OR DEAL WITH. IT WAS AN ESCAPE MECHANISM THAT SHE USED OFTEN WITH MUCH SUCCESS. TO HER IF SHE DIDN'T BELIEVE IN IT, THEN IT WOULD JUST GO AWAY AND NOT BOTHER HER ANY MORE.

MY OLDESTS FRIEND HAD ALSO EXPERIENCED AN ENCOUNTER WITH THE SHADOW MAN THAT OCCURRED MANY YEARS AGO WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER AND ONE BEFORE HE EVEN KNEW THAT WE EXISTED. HE WAS WALKING ALONG A LONG DUSTY DIRT ROAD. WHEN THE SHADOW MAN CAME TO HIM, AND APPEARED IN FRONT OF HIM. HE FIRST THOUGHT THAT HE HAD MET A DEMON OR ONE OF HIS CHARACTERS IN THE GAMES THAT HE LOVED TO PLAY. OF COURSE, REASON TOLD HIM THAT THIS WAS TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE. HE TRIED TO GO AROUND IT BUT THIS CHARACTER WOULD NOT LET HIM. APPREHENSION BEGAN TO CREEP UP ON HIM, BUT HE WOULD NOT GIVE INTO OR ADMIT THAT HE WAS AFRAID. WHEN ALL OF THIS STARTED TO HAPPEN TO MY FAMILY, FRIENDS, RELATIVES AND ME, HE ADMITTED THAT HE HAD SEEN THIS SO CALLED SHADOW MAN. HE ALSO STATED THAT THE ENTITY SEEMED TO FOLLOW HIM AROUND AND APPEAR TO HIM OFF AND ON. THERE WAS, OF COURSE, NO CONNECTION TO THIS INCIDENT AND WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO US, BUT WE WONDERED IF IT COULD STILL BE FOLLOWING HIM AROUND, BUT THIS DID NOT EXPLAIN WHY IT APPEARED TO OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS.

ONE LATE MOONLIGHT NIGHT, MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER AND I SAW THE BEING. WE HAD JUST TAKEN ONE OF HER FRIENDS BACK HOME AND WERE MAKING A RETURN TRIP BACK TO OUR HOUSE. IF MEMORY SERVES ME RIGHT, IT WAS ON A SATURDAY NIGHT, AND WE HAD JUST TURNED ONTO THE STREET ON WHICH OUR HOUSE WAS LOCATED. WE BOTH SENSED IT BEFORE WE SAW IT. I FIRST THOUGHT THAT IT WAS A PERSON WALKING AHEAD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD, AND SLOWED THE VEHICLE DOWN TO ALMOST A COMPLETE STOP. THE FIGURE WAS IN ALL BLACK, AND I REALIZED WHAT WE WERE SEEING. MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER, WAS ABOUT FIFTEEN AT THIS TIME, AND HAD NOT EVER EXPERIENCED SOMETHING LIKE THIS BEFORE, YET SHE HAD HEARD US ALL TALKING ABOUT IT. IT TURNED AND LOOKED AT US AND JUST THEN, MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER SAID THAT SHE HAD NEVER FELT THAT KIND OF EVIL INTENT EVER BEFORE FROM ANYTHING. SHE WAS INSTANTLY AFRAID AND COULD NOT EXPLAIN HER FEELING OF HELPLESSNESS OR DESPERATION. AS WE GOT CLOSER AND APPROACHED OUR DRIVEWAY, THE SHADOW MAN DISAPPEARED. HE JUST WENT POOF!

ONE OTHER INCIDENT OCCURED WHEN A COUPLE OF OUR YOUNG FRIENDS HAD COME TO VISIT. BOTH WERE NEIGHBOR'S CHILDREN, ONE LIVED IN THE HOUSE DOWN THE STREET HE HAD BEEN FRIENDS WITH MY SON FOR MANY YEARS. THEY BOTH HUNG OUT ALOT WITH US AND SHE LIVED WITH HER GRANDPARENTS ON THE NEXT STREET OVER FROM US. THEY WERE BOTH ATTENDING A JUNIOR COLLEGE IN THE NEXT TOWN. THE GIRL WAS CONFINED TO A WHEEL CHAIR BECAUSE SHE WAS BORN WITH A BIRTH DEFECT. SHE WAS NEVER ABLE TO WALK WITHOUT AID OR HELP AND HAD BEEN SUBJECTED TO MANY OPERATIONS TO HELP RELIEVE THE PAIN AS WELL AS TO GIVE HER HOPE THAT SHE WOULD SOMEDAY WALK LIKE OTHER NORMAL KIDS. SHE WENT WITH US SHOPPING, ON SHORT TRIPS, AND EVEN TO THE MOVIES. I ENJOYED HER COMPANY AS MUCH AS MY DAUGHTERS DID.

ON THIS PARTICUAR NIGHT, WE HAD BEEN WATCHING A VIDEO TOGETHER, AND JUST ENJOYING EACH OTHERS COMPANY WHICH WE OFTEN DID, NOW. MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER WAS NOW AT THE MATH AND SCIENCE SCHOOL IN THE NORTHERN PART OF THE STATE, MY OLDEST DAUGHTER WAS BACK IN COLLEGE. AND MY SON HAD JUST STARTED GOING TO COLLEGE AFTER THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS.

WHEN THE MOVIE STOPPED, THEY DECIDED TO GO HOME DOWN THE STREET. I MADE THE DECISION TO WALK WITH THEM TO PUSH HER HOME. WE DID THIS OFTEN BECAUSE IT WAS EASIER THAN TO TRY AND PUT HER IN THE CAR AND BESIDES IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL, CLEAR COOL NIGHT. AS WE WENT OUT THE BACK DOOR AND ONTO THE CARPORT, THE YARD WAS ILUMINATED AND IT WAS LIT UP JUST LIKE DAY. MY DOG SHADOW WHO WAS A BLACK LAB, ALWAYS LIKED TO ACCOMPANY US WHEN WE WENT WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND WE LIKED HAVING THE EXTRA PROTECTION.

WE ENJOYED LOOKING UP AT THE STARS AND THE PLANETS AND ON OCCASION WE WOULD USE MY TELESCOPE TO OBSERVE AND LOOK AT THE CRATERS

ON THE MOONS SURFACE. SO WE WERE LOOKING AT THE STARS AS WE WALKED HER BACK HOME. THEN ABOUT HALF WAY DOWN THE ROAD THE DOG JUST STOPPED IN FRONT OF US AND REFUSED TO LET US PASS HIM. THEN ALL OF US SAW THE BEING OF THE SHADOW MAN STANDING THERE IN FRONT OF US AND THE DOG, SHADOW WAS GROWLING AT THE SHADOW BEING. HE FROZE AND SHE SAID WHAT IS THIS THING. I STOPPED PUSHING HER AND WE ALL STOOD THERE WAITING BUT AS SOON AS THE DOG HAD BEGUN TO BARK AT THIS THING IT DISAPPEARED AND LEFT US ALONE. I THEN TOLD THEM WHAT MY FAMILY HAD SEEN BEFORE.

THE END

THIS IS MY STORY MY MOTHER WROTE BACK IN 1992 TIME FRAME

HOWEVER

THERE IS MORE TO THIS STORY OR THE THINGS THAT OCCURRED BEFORE AND SOON AFTER THIS THAT CHANGED ALL OUR LIVES. I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN WITH IT …

OR HOW TO REALLY PUT IT INTO WORDS THAT IS STRUCTURED LIKE A STORY CAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY EMOTIONS THAT GO WITH THIS, BUT I WILL JUST

START EXPLAINING... how things all fell APART!!!

HOWEVER I ALSO DON'T KNOW IF IT STILL EXISTS OUT THERE OR NOT FOR I HAVE NO IDEA. SOON AFTER THE SIGHTINGS MY BOYFRIEND AT THAT TIME STARTED CHANGING AND BECAME SOMEONE I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE. WE WOULD BE ARGUING ALL THE TIME OVER EVERY LITTLE THING AND WE WOULD GET IN HIS SO CALLED BLACK MOODS. SOMETIMES HE WOULD LEAVE ALL NIGHT LONG OUT WHEREEVER HE WANTED TO. WE BROKE UP OVER IT ALL AND YET TRIED TO REMAIN FRIENDS AT THIS POINT.

OH I THINK IT OCCURRED MAYBE FROM HIM IS CORRECT AS A PHYSICAL THING THAT IS ANYHOW

BECAUSE I HAD ENCOUNTERED THE DARK BEING LONG BEFORE THAT WHEN I WAS FIRST DATING MY FIRST EVER BOYFRIEND AND HAD A DEPRESSED MOMENT OF WANTING TO END EVERYTHING AFTER FIGHTING THAT THING IN THE OUTER BODY OF SOME OTHER SPACE NOT SURE IF IT WAS THE SAME THING OR NOT BUT IT WAS LONG SOLID BLACK WITH A LONG BLACK CAPE SO I DON'T KNOW MAYBE IT WAS THE SAME. HE AND I HAD ISSUES ALL THE WAY THROUGH AND LATER I FOUND HE HAD SEEN THE SHADOW THING AND SAID THAT AFTER THAT HE BATTLED OVER KILLING HIMSELF FOR A YEAR TIL HE FOUND GOD AND GOD HELPED HIM GET OVER IT AND THAT HE WAS MARRYING SOMEONE AND HE HAS KIDS BY HER AND IS HAPPY NOW.

BACK TO THE LATER DATE ...

CAUSE I WAS DATING MY CURRENT BOYFRIEND OFF AND ON IN 1992 WHEN WE FIRST MET,BEING IN MY TWENTIES THEN. I DON'T KNOW!!!! I HAD A DREAM THAT HE WAS NOT REALLY HIMSELF THAT WAS THERE BEFORE ... IN THAT DREAM WHEN HE HAD BEEN IN THE WRECK THAT THE POLE RAN THROUGH HALF HIS BRAIN FROM FALLING ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL COMING BACK TO HIS HOME FROM COLLEGE, THAT NOT ONLY DID IT CHANGE HIM BUT HE WASN'T HIM ANYMORE... HE REALLY DID HAVE A HUGE SCAR ON HIS HEAD FROM THAT WRECK BEFORE I MET HIM... I HAD IN THE DREAM SEEN HIM SCREAMING IN A PIT SURROUNDED WITH THINGS POKING AT HIM TO LET HIM OUT BUT THEY WOULDN'T.

MY MOM TOLD ME SHE SAW HIM ONE DAY IN THE

BACK YARD HOVERING WITH HIS LEGS CROSSED ABOVE THE AIR AND HIS EYES WERE GLOWING RED

ITS SCARED HER SO MUCH.

THERE WAS A MAJOR DARK SIDE TO HIM AND I ALWAYS SENSED IT AND YET I WAS SORT OF AFRAID TOO BUT NEVER WANTED TO LET HIM FEEL THAT FEAR SO I WOULD CONFRONT HIM AND MAKE HIM ANGRY TO THE POINT HE WOULD LEAVE FOR HOURS AND DAYS SOMETIME BEFORE HE WOULD COME BACK.

AND I SAW THE LOWER KEYS OF EVIL THAT HE HAD AND HE LOVED RED LIGHT AND EVEN HIS AURA WAS RED

DEEP RED ORANGE... ALWAYS ERKED ME AND WHEN

HE WOULD KISS ME IT WAS LIKE KISSING SOMETHING

COLD AND DEAD EMOTIONALESS IT WOULD SEND

SHIVERS DOWN MY SPINE. AND ALL THE VISIONS I WOULD HAVE OF WOMEN BEING MURDERED AND THEN THE ONE IN THE PAPER THAT I REMEMBER SEEING AND THE KNIFE AND THE NECKLACE THAT WAS THERE AND THE FACT SHE WAS MURDERED NOT FAR FROM HIS WORK... DROVE ME MAD

I WAS SO FRIGHTENED FOR DAUGHTER'S LIFE AND MINE... I DID RIGHT BY GETTING RID OF HIM BUT I SOMETIMES WONDER IF THAT SHADOW DEMON WASN'T FROM HIM AROUND HIM OR HAD MADE ITSELF

ACTUALLY APART OF HIM...AND I WILL NEVER REALLY KNOW.

I ALSO THINK THIS THING WHAT EVER IT IS DEMON OR BEING OR WHAT NOT IS THE LAUGHING THING THAT SOME OF MY SENSITIVE FRIENDS ON THE PSYCHIC SIDE HAVE PICKED UP ON AND THE REASON OTHERS TELL ME THAT GABRIEL AND MICHAEL HOVER OVER AND BEHIND ME .. PROTECTING ME FROM THAT THING...

MY ROOMMATE AND I WERE VERY CLOSE FRIENDS AND SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND. SHE AND HIM HAD MET AT A SCIFI CONVENTION, A YEAR EARLIER. ONE NIGHT SHE CAME TO ME SAYING THAT SOMETHING WAS IN HER ROOM I SAID WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT SHE SAID THIS DARK SHADOW THING WAS IN HER ROOM AND ON TOP OF HER BED IT HAD CLOVEN HOOFS AND WAS NOT LETTING HER MOVE AT ALL. SHE SAID SHE HAD AN OVERWHELMING FEAR OF IT AND COULDN'T SHAKE THE BEING FROM HER MIND. IT TOOK HER SHE SAID IT SEEMED AND HOUR TO MOVE THAT IT FINALLY LET HER UP AND DISAPPEARED. SHE SAID IT WAS EXTREMELY TALL AND SOLID BLACK THAT IT BLOCKED THE LIGHT FROM THE WINDOW OUT.

I TOLD HER THAT WE COULD DO A CANDLE AND CLEAN

THE APT OUT AND HOPE THAT IT DIDN'T RETURN SHE SAID THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA. I COULD TELL SHE WAS REALLY SHAKEN UP BY THIS BEING. SHE HAD NEVER BEFORE LET ANYTHING SHE SAW OR HAPPEN GET TO HER. SOON AFTER THAT WE WERE HAVING ISSUES, THE HARMONY WE HAD WAS FADING AND THERE REALLY WASN'T A REASON FOR IT. SHE DIDN'T WANT TO HANG WITH ME OR BE AROUND ME YET STILL WANTED TO BE AROUND MY FRIENDS.

SHE DECIDED SHE WANTED TO MOVE OUT AND GET

HER OWN PLACE BUT BEFORE SHE HAD MOVED SHE ADMITTED THAT SHE WAS HAVING ISSUES WITH HER BOYFRIEND. ONE DAY WHEN SHE HAD GONE TO WORK SHE LEFT HIM AT THE APT. USUALLY THIS WOULDN'T BOTHER ME FOR IT HAD HAPPENED BEFORE I WOULD GO IN MY ROOM AND DRAW WHILE HE USUALLY WATCHED TV ALL NIGHT TIL SHE WOULD COME BACK. HOWEVER THIS NIGHT HE CALLED ME INTO THE LIVING ROOM SAYING THAT HE DIDN'T WANT TO BE ALONE AND SAID HE REALLY LIKED ME...

I WENT IN THERE TO TALK TO HIM AND TELL HIM

THAT I WAS NOT INTERESTED IN HIM THAT WAY

BUT HE WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ANYTHING I SAID AND

FORCED HIMSELF ON ME AND THEN AFTERWARDS

I CRIED AND HE LET ME CRY AND I WAS LIKE

THIS SHOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED

HE SAID DON'T TELL HER, SHE WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND. HELL I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND, AND FROM THAT POINT TRIED TO STAY AWAY FROM HIM

AS MUCH AS I COULD HOWEVER I COULDN'T

HE WAS OVER WHEN SHE WAS GONE ALOT.

I BEGAN TO LOCK MY DOOR WHEN HE WAS AROUND

HOWEVER ONE TIME I HAD TO GET A SHOWER AND

HE WAS IN HER ROOM SLEEPING I FIGURED I WOULD BE FINE

HOW WRONG WAS I .

HE CAME IN TO THE SHOWER AND AGAIN FORCED

THE ISSUE AND PUSHED ME UP AND WOULDN'T LET ME GO UNTIL HE HAD FINISHED WHAT HE WANTED

THEN JUST LEFT ME THERE I FELL TO THE TUB FLOOR

AND CRIED AND CRIED....

THEN FOR HIS BIRTHDAY I WAS HOME FIXING EVERYONE DINNER FOR WE WERE TO HAVE A GAME NIGHT AFTER EVERYONE GOT HOME FROM WORK

AND HE SAID ITS MY BIRTHDAY COME HERE

AND BY THIS TIME I HAD LEARNED NOT TO ARGUE

AND DO WHAT HE ASKED OUT OF FEAR MOSTLY

WHY DID I LET MYSELF GET TO THAT POINT I DON'T KNOW

HE GRABBED MY HEAD AND FORCED ME TO GET HIM OFF. I GOT UP WHEN HE LET GO AND RAN TO THE

BEDROOM AND LOCKED THE DOOR LEAVING THE FOOD TURNED OFF.

NEEDLESS TO SAY I DIDN'T GAME THAT NIGHT I TOLD EVERYONE I HAD A MIGRAINE AND WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO PLAY.

I TOLD MYSELF THAT I HAD TO TELL HER

AND THAT SHE DESERVED TO KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING WHAT WAS WORSE IS THAT IT DIDN'T SEEM LIKE HIM AT ALL I HAD KNOWN HIM FOR THREE YEARS AND THIS WAS NOT A SIDE TO HIM I KNEW AT ALL BUT OH I WAS WRONG I JUST WAS BLINDED CAUSE HE HAD BEEN HERS. A WEEK AFTER OUR HOLIDAYS

AND WE SAW THE BEING IN THE KITCHEN

I WENT BACK TO SCHOOL AND WAS IN A VERY

LOW PLACE I HAD STARTED DRINKING HEAVILY TO TAKE MY GUILTY MIND OFF OF WHAT HE WAS DOING TO ME

AND THE FACT I HAD NOT TOLD HER AT ALL

AND WAS CLOSE TO HER SO I WAS BATTLING MAJOR

HURT AND NEW THERE WOULD BE NO EASY WAY

TO END THIS THAT I WOULD LOSE HER AND

LOSE IT ALL AND I WASN'T WRONG IN THAT

BUT I HAD TO TELL HER I HAD TO BREAK FREE FROM

THIS HORRIBLE CYCLE OF THINGS AND GET AWAY

FROM HIM.

I HAD BEEN DRINKING AND SAID I WOULD JUST END

EVERYTHING NO MORE WORRIES AT ALL I WROTE

HER A LETTER AND WAS GOING TO DRIVE MY CAR

INTO THE RIVER UP AT THE PARK WE HAD BEEN GOING TOO ... I WAS IN A VERY LOST PLACE AND DIDN'T KNOW A WAY OUT WITHOUT HURTING EVERYONE

YET WHEN I WAS SITTING IN THE CAR AT THE RAMP

READY TO DRIVE IT IN I HEARD A SONG ON THE RADIO

AND SOMETHING INSIDE OF ME SAID WHAT ARE YOU

DOING YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS

THERE IS A BETTER WAY TO DEAL WITH THIS

YOUR LIFE MATTERS YOU HAVE A LOT TO DO DON'T GO THIS WAY. SO I DIDN'T DRIVE THE CAR INTO THE RIVER

I WAS DRIVING IT BACK AND SAT IN THE FRONT

OF THE ENTRANCE FOR ABOUT TWO HOURS

I KNEW BY THIS POINT SHE HAD READ THE LETTER

AND KNEW EVERYTHING AND I SMOKED A PACK OF

CIGS SITTING THERE CONTEMPLATING WHAT TO DO

WHEN SHE CAME DOWN AND SAID WHAT ARE YOU DOING

JUST SITTING HERE I SAID WELL I AM WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO COME GET ME SHE SAID DRIVE BACK

TO IHOP WE HAVE TO TALK AND BOY DID WE I BLEW UP AT HER SHE BLEW UP AT ME AND BY THE NIGHT AT FIVE IN THE MORNING CAME BACK AROUND, WE WERE TOTALLY FOREVER UNDONE.

I DIDN'T TELL HER HE FORCED HIS WAY INTO ME

OVER AND OVER. I DIDN'T TELL HER THAT SHE WAS SO ANGRY AT ME SAYING I WAS A LIAR AND A GREAT ACTOR AND SO MUCH ELSE THAT I FELT BAD ENOUGH

BUT I SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER I SO SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER

A WEEK LATER SHE WAS LEAVING MOVING OUT

BY MARCH AND SO I WAS STRUGGLING TO FINISH MY SCHOOL WORK OR NOT AND EVERYTHING THAT EACH

WEEKEND I WAS DRINKING MORE AND MORE

TO MASK THE PAIN OF WHAT I HAD DONE AN WHAT WAS BEING DONE AROUND ME

I HAD HEARD THAT HE WAS GETTING MARRIED TO SOMEONE AND THAT MY ROOMMATE HAD A NEW BOYFRIEND SHE WAS BRINGING OVER TO THE APT EACH NIGHT AND HE SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME WITH A BAT ONE NIGHT SO I JUST LOCKED MYSELF IN MY ROOM FOR WEEKS... SHE ALSO LET HIM GO BUT THEN I THOUGHT SHE WAS DOING THINGS ON PURPOSE TO MAKE MY LIFE A LIVING HELL AND I KNOW SHE WAS... ONE TIME SHE BROUGHT A GIRL OVER AND MADE SURE I WATCHED HER... THAT HURT MORE THAN ANYTHING BUT SHE KNEW HOW I FELT ABOUT HER SO OF COURSE SHE DID THIS ON PURPOSE AND ALL BEFORE SHE MOVED OUT.

THEN HER EX GOT SICK AND MY EX ROOMMATE AND A FRIEND CAME OVER AND ACCUSED ME OF BEING THE ONE THAT MADE HIM SICK I SAID WHAT I DON'T HAVE AN STD WHICH I DIDN'T HAVE SHE SAID I KNOW WERE WITH A MUTUAL FRIEND LONG AGO THAT HAS IT AND HE AND YOU DATED FOR AWHILE SO HE HAD TO HAVE GIVEN IT TO YOU AND YOU TO MY EX AND HE GAVE IT TO ME I HATE YOU AND I WAS LIKE I DON'T HAVE IT I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT AND I REALLY DIDN'T. YEAH I DATED THAT GUY BUT I NEVER LET HIM HAVE ME LIKE THAT HELL I SHUT THE DAMN DOOR ON HIM... THE ONE TIME HE TRIED... BUT SHE WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ME SO THAT ENDED THAT ...

NEEDLESS TO SAY EVERYTHING WAS FALLING APART

I WOULD GO HOME AND THAT WASN'T HOME ANYMORE EITHER MY BROTHER AND SISTER WOULD BE SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER OVER STUFF THAT WAS STUPID ARGUING ABOUT GOD THIS AND GOD THAT AND ALL KINDS OF THINGS OUR FRIENDS WERE ALL HAVING ISSUES OF THERE OWN... MY BROTHERS FRIEND FROM DOWN THE STREET HAD TOLD US HE HAD BEEN MOLESTED THAT THEN A MONTH OR SO LATER HIS HOUSE CAUGHT ON FIRE AND SO MANY THINGS WERE GOING WRONG

MY BROTHER WAS ACCUSING ME OF TRYING TO HARM

HIM HE SAID THAT I WENT INTO HIS APT AND I WAS LIKE YEAH LOOKING FOR YOU CAUSE YOU HAD A PHONE CALL AND I FOUND A TAPE AND TAP THAT YOU HAD OF ME AND MY PHONE CONVERSATIONS WITH MY FRIENDS

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU HE SAID I THINK YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING BAD AND I WANT TO CATCH YOU I SAID I AM NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG ....

MY FRIENDS SMOKED POT AND SO HE THOUGHT I DID

AND THAT POINT I HAD NEVER TOUCHED THE STUFF I HATED IT... STILL KINDA DO...

IT ALWAYS IRRITATES MY THROAT I FOUND OUT AT THE SAME TIME ALL THIS WAS GOING ON THAT I HAD NODULES FROM SINGING IN CHOIR AT CHURCH ON MY THROAT AND THAT IF I SANG TOO MUCH THEY COULD BURST AND BLEED AND THEY WERE TESTING IT TO MAKE SURE IT WASN'T CANCER SO I THOUGHT I WAS DYING.... THE EAR NOSE THROAT DOC WAS NICE BUT SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME...

I WENT HOME THAT WEEKEND FOR A WEEK BREAK

SPRING BREAK... MY EX BOYFRIEND WAS WITH MY ROOMMATES EX AND HIS FRIENDS

GAMING AND I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE IT FROM ALL THAT HAD HAPPENED

SO I NEEDED A BREAK

IN MY ROOM I PUT ON MUSIC I HAD BEEN MEDITATING TOO TO HELP WITH ALL THE STRESS OF SCHOOL AND OUT OF SCHOOL AND I WAS TRYING TO QUIT THE SMOKING OF CIGS FOR WHAT IT WAS DOING TO MY THROAT THE DOC SAID WOULD BE WORSE ...

I HAD NOT TOLD ANYONE WHAT WAS GOING ON

THEY NEVER KNEW THIS PART OF IT JUST ME

I WAS BATTLING THE HEADACHES MORE AND MORE

AS WELL SO MUCH THAT I WAS BLACKING OUT AND

WAKING UP FROM BLACKOUTS AND LATER FOUND THAT THOSE BLACKOUTS WERE SEIZURES.

I TOLD MOM THAT THE DOCS WANTED

TO GIVE ME A CATSCAN TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON

MOM SAID YOU ARE FINE THERE IS NOTHING WRONG

WITH YOU DON'T LET THEM NEAR YOU

AND I WAS LIKE BUT MOM YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

ANYHOW THAT WEEKEND WAS ROUGH IN MANY WAYS

BACK TRACKING SOME

AFTER I HAD SEEN THE FIRST SIGHT OF THE

SHADOW MAN. EVERYTHING WAS QUIET FOR ABOUT SIX YEARS UNTIL THAT OCTOBER IN 1989 WHEN MY BROTHER AND FATHER WERE IN A WRECK. MY BROTHERS KNEES WERE MESSED UP AND MY FATHER HAD WOUNDED HIS HEART

WHICH COME JULY 1 AT 1 PM HE HAD A HEART ATTACK

AND DIED

IT WAS HARD ON MY MOTHER BUT OUR FRIENDS

THAT WERE NEARBY WOULD VISIT HER WHILE WE WERE ALL OFF AT SCHOOL THREE YEARS LATER

MY YOUNGER SISTER WAS AT MATH AND SCIENCE SCHOOL AND I LEARNED WAS HAVING ISSUES WITH HER BOYFRIEND WANTING TO HIT HER AND SHE TOLD ME THAT MY ROOMMATES EX HAD TRIED TO GET AT HER I WAS SO FURIOUS I WANTED TO KILL HIM IF I EVER SAW HIM AGAIN

MY ROOMMATE NEVER KNEW ANY OF WHAT HE REALLY DID, I NEVER TOLD HER ALL HE HAD DONE

MY SIS AND HER BOYFRIEND BROKE UP AND SHE STARTED DATING A FRIEND FROM FLORIDA WHO

A YEAR LATER THEY GOT MARRIED SHE WAS ONLY SIXTEEN BUT MOM GAVE THE OK...

SHE FINISHED MATH AND SCIENCE SCHOOL

IN THE TOP OF HER CLASS WHICH IF SHE HAD BEEN

AT REGULAR SCHOOL SHE WOULD HAVE GRADUATED

WITH HONORS

AND SHE WAS GOING TO THE UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA AND MARRIED HIM SHE WENT INTO CIVIL ENGINEERING AND MATH AS A DOUBLE MAJOR

MY BROTHER HAD BROKE UP WITH HIS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND AND WAS IN A TRAILER AT HIS SCHOOL AND AT HOME HE WAS IN COMPUTER ELECTRONICS ENGINEERING AND ROBOTICS ENGINEERING DOUBLE MAJOR

I WAS FINISHING UP A DOUBLE MAJOR IN ART ONE IN GRAPHICS AND ONE IN DRAWING AND PAINTING WHICH AT MY SCHOOL ONLY TWO OTHER PEOPLE HAD EVER DONE

I WANTED TO GET ONE IN SCULPTURE TOO AND WAS

WORKING ON THAT WHEN I MET ANOTHER EX OF MY EX ROOMMATE BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THAT THEN FOUND OUT LATER. WE WERE DATING OFF AND ON AND I WAS TRYING TO BE FRIENDS WITH MY CURRENT EX. I GOT PREGNANT AND THAT WAS HELL IN ITSELF... I GOT TOXEMA TOWARDS THE END OF THE PREGNANCY EVERYONE WANTED ME TO GET RID OF HER AND I SAID I REFUSE I WILL HAVE THE CHILD I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A HER JUST FELT IT AT THE TIME... FROM MY EX THAT I HAD MOVE IN FOR HE SEEMED HE WANTED TO HELP YET WAS MORE THE OPPOSITE WAS SENDING POT SMOKE FROM BATHROOM TO VENTS WHICH CAME OUT TO ME IN LIVING ROOM AND MADE ME SICK. I WAS SLEEPING ON A COT AS HE HAD

THE BED AND THE OTHER ROOM WAS ALL HIS STUFF

SO MY KID INSIDE THREW UP AND FOR TWO WEEKS WAS LIVING IN THAT MESS AND MAKING US BOTH SICK

FOUND THAT OUT WHEN I HAD HER... THAT NIGHT SHE ALMOST DIED AS WELL AS I ... I WAS BLEEDING TO DEATH THEY FINALLY STABLED ME AND SHE HAD A HEART ISSUE WHICH LATER FOUND OUT WAS A HEART MURMUR .... ALSO SHE SPLIT ME FOUR WAYS AS SHE CAME OUT AND THEY CUT ME A 5TH WAY TO GET HER SHOULDERS THROUGH ME... I THEN THREE DAYS LATER WAS SENT HOME MOM AND GRANDMA WERE THERE A WEEK THEN LEFT AND TWO DAYS AFTER I HAD A GRAND MAL SEIZURE IF HE HADN'T BEEN THERE I WOULD PROBABLY GOTTEN SERIOUSLY INJURED I FELL TO THE FLOOR AND HE MOVED THE TABLE OR I WOULD HAVE HIT IT... SO HE SAVED MY LIFE THAT DAY. I HAVE NEVER HAD ANOTHER SINCE

AND ALL THE EEG'S COME BACK NORMAL

THEN I FOUND HE HADN'T BEEN PAYING THE BILLS SO WE LOST THE APT AND MY DAUGHTER WAS TWO MONTHS OLD SO I MOVED HOME AND A YEAR LATER I GOT BACK WITH HIM WHY I DON'T KNOW I WAS AN IDIOT BUT I LET HIM BACK IN

I WAS WORKING AT A PRINTSHOP DOING OK BUT THE BILLS HIGH AND HARD TO PAY OFF ON A SMALL HOURLY WAGE SO THE PHONE WOULD ALWAYS SUFFER AND I WOULD LOSE IT OFTEN.

HE WOULD BE OUT MORE AND MORE AND SMOKED ALL THE TIME AND I HATED IT MORE THAN ONE REASON SO I WAS ALWAYS ARGUING WITH HIM OVER IT DO IT OUTSIDE AWAY FROM MY KID AND ME

I HAD STOPPED SMOKING CIGARETTES ALL TOGETHER AND THE TESTS RESULTS SHOWED THAT I DIDN'T HAVE CANCER THAT IT WAS NOT GOING AWAY

THEY COULDN'T CUT THE NODULES OUT BECAUSE OF WHERE THEY WERE SO I WOULD HAVE TO LIVE AROUND THEM SO SINGING WAS NEVER GONNA BE THE SAME SO I STOPPED SINGING IN THE CHOIR AND

I HAD CLASSES TO LEARN TO TALK ALL OVER AGAIN ... TO COMPENSATE FOR THAT BUT I QUIT GOING.

AND IT ACTIVATES WHEN I AM AROUND SMOKE.

SO MUCH MORE HAPPENED SO MUCH MORE

MY SISTER CAME TO ME AND TOLD ME SHE WAS

BI AND WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GIRL AND HER HUSBAND AT THE SAME TIME. I TOLD HER THAT I HAD HAD AN EXPERIENCE ONCE TOO

MY SIS THEN AT ANOTHER TIME TOLD ME OF THE TROUBLES SHE WAS HAVING WITH HER HUSBAND AND ANOTHER GUY SHE WAS DATING HER HUSBAND GOT IN TROUBLE FOR USING A TASER ON THE GUY THAT WAS CHOKING MY SISTER ALMOST TO DEATH.

WHICH THE JUDGE WENT WITH THE GUY CHOKING MY SISTERS POINT OF VIEW INSTEAD OF HER HUSBAND WHO WAS TRYING TO SAVE HER. THE ONLY CHOICE

HER HUSBAND HAD WAS TO GO INTO THE MILITARY OR JAIL SO HE WENT INTO THE MILITARY

THEN MY SISTER GOT ANOTHER BOYFRIEND TWO YEARS LATER AND KEPT TELLING ME THINGS THAT WAS GOING ON AND I AM LIKE BUT YOUR HUSBAND AND SHE WAS LIKE HE AND HER WERE GETTING A DIVORCE. FOR WHEN HE WAS GONE HE WAS GONE BUT WHEN HE WAS BACK ALL HE DID WAS PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND NEVER PAID HER ATTENTION AND THEY HAD SO MANY BILLS SHE WAS AFRAID OF LOSING THE HOUSE SHE HAD SO GOT A ROOMMATE A GIRL AND THE GIRL KNEW THESE GUYS AND MY SISTER HAD BEEN DATING ONE OF THEM. I KEPT TRYING TO WARN HER THAT SOMETHING DIDN'T SIT RIGHT BUT SHE SAID SHE LOVED HIM... TWO DAYS LATER MY SISTER WAS GONE SHOT IN THE HEAD AND MADE TO LOOK LIKE A SUICIDE AND SHE WAS ABOUT TO GO TO NASA SO WE ALL KNEW SHE WOULD NEVER DO THAT... I HAD SPOKE TO MY EX ROOMMATE FROM COLLEGE OFF AND ON AND NEW SHE WAS ABLE TO GET INFO IF NOTHING ELSE TO EASE MY MIND THAT MY SISTER REALLY DIDN'T DO THIS TO HERSELF. I SAID PLEASE I JUST NEED TO KNOW IF SHE DID THIS OR SOMEONE ELSE DID IT TO HER.

THE AUTOPSY REPORT TOLD ME SHE DIDN'T DO IT THERE WAS ZERO RESIDUE OF THE GUN ON HER FINGERS SHE DIDN'T PULL THAT TRIGGER AND THERE WAS A BRUISE ON HER HEAD FROM BEFORE THE SHOT GOOD ENOUGH THAT COULD HAVE RENDERED HER UNCONCSIOUS SHE WAS MURDERED BY THAT ASSHOLE AND HIS BROTHER AND HER EX HUSBAND GAVE HIM THE TRUCK THAT HAD THE BLOOD IN IT SO I HATED THEM ALL I CAN'T HELP IT THIS WAS YEARS LATER IN 2005

NOTHING I WILL EVER BE ABLE TO DO ABOUT IT

OR BE ABLE TO PROVE THAT THEY ALL WERE IN ON IT

BUT I MISS HER EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE

AND SOME HOW I STILL THINK ALL THE HELL WE ALL BEEN THROUGH IS CAUSED BY THAT PURELY EVIL SHADOW THING.

AND I HAD SAVED HER LIFE ONCE BEFORE

BACK IN THE EARLY 1990'S WHEN MY COUSINS AND HER WERE OUT AND MET THESE TWO GUYS THAT WORKED AT THE MEAT SECTION OF WAYNE LEES AND SHE WANTED TO GO OUT WITH THEM AND I REFUSED MY SENSE OF EVIL WAS GOING OFF AND I SAID NO YOU HAVE TO STAY HERE AND MY BROTHER AGREED ON THIS ONE FOR ONCE WE WERE BOTH BEING PROTECTIVE AND BECAUSE OF IT WE SAVED HER LIFE FOR MY COUSIN AND HER FIANCEE WERE AS THE COPS SAID IN A DRUG DEAL GONE BAD BUT THEY

DIDN'T DO DRUGS THE GUYS MAY HAVE BUT NOT MY COUSIN ANYHOW THAT IS NEITHER HERE NOR THERE

THE FIANCEE WAS CHOPPED UP TO BITS AND FED TO THE DAMN ALIGATORS AND SHE WAS PUT IN A METAL COFFIN THE ONLY WAY SHE SURVIVED SHE HAD A CELL PHONE AND THE LOCK WASN'T ON RIGHT

SHE WAS ABLE TO GET OUT OF IT AND BREAK THROUGH THE METAL BOX AND CALL FOR HELP SHE HAS TWO KIDS NOW AND ANOTHER PERSON IN HER LIFE AND IS OK BUT WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED TO MY SIS.

AND TO THINK I HAD SEEN WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO MY SIS TWO DAYS BEFORE IN A DREAM VISION AND I TOLD HER THE NIGHTMARE YET IT HAPPENED ALMOST EXACTLY AS I SAW IT SO IN MY MIND AT TIMES I SEE THIS OVER AND OVER.

I WARNED HER BUT SHE WAS HALF WAY ACROSS COUNTRY MANY STATES AWAY

WHAT COULD I DO... NOTHING SO HELPLESS SHE WAS NOT EVEN AWAKE WHEN SHE WAS KILLED. I TAKE THAT AS SHE DIDN'T FEEL THE PAIN AND IS A RELIEF BUT OH HOW ANGRY IT MAKES ME KNOWING SHE WENT THROUGH THIS.... AND DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO HER...

MOM WAS HAVING ISSUES KEEPING THE HOUSE

THE TAXES WERE 6 THOUSAND SHE ASKED MY GRANDMOTHER FOR FUNDS FROM INHERITANCE

BUT GRANDMOTHER TOLD HER THAT SHE HAD

GIVEN MY EX BOYFRIEND 10,000 I WAS SO DAMN FURIOUS AT THAT TWO YEARS LATER WHEN I FOUND OUT BUT HE WAS LONG GONE

AND I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING

SO IT FORCED MY MOTHER TO TAKE A DIFFERENT JOB

THAN THE ONE SHE HAD AT THE JUNIOR COLLEGE GED

PROGRAM WHICH SHE HAD ALREADY CONFRONTED A KID THAT ENDED UP KILLING HIS PARENTS

SHE APPLIED FOR THE TEACHING JOB AT THE PRISON AND FOR A YEAR DROVE BACK AND FORTH UNTIL SHE GOT A TRAILER TO LIVE IN

LATER THE IRONY IN 1997-98 OF THIS IS UNCANNY MOM HAD DECIDED TWO YEARS LATER TO GET ANOTHER HOUSE

SHE DIDN'T LIKE STAYING IN THE TRAILER SO NOT TELLING ANYONE AT WORK SHE MOVED TO THE NEW PLACE AND TWO OLD LADIES HAD THE TRAILER.