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Poetry and Writings

ROLLIN' WHEELZ


ROLLIN' WHEELZ

COLD CHILL IN THE AIR CRISP TO MY LUNGS AS I WOKE IN PEACE YET MY MIND AND HEART HAVE ALOT ON THEM

WE ALL COME TO CROSSROADS WE DON'T WANT TO MAKE

SOME WE ARE CHANGING BEFORE CHANGE ITSELF DOES US IN

ITS THAT QUIET SILENCE WHEN THE ITCH TO ROAM HAS STUCK AGAIN

AND ONLY ONE WITH THIS CAN UNDERSTAND IT

THEY SAY THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME YET WHAT IF YOUR HOME ISN'T THE HOME YOU REMEMBER

IT ISN'T A HOME ANYMORE

WHERE DO YOU GO THEN

ITS THAT ACHE IN THE HEART THAT PAINS THE MOST TURNING ONE INSIDE OUT

SOMETIMES BEING BROKE IS THE PEACEFUL WAY SOMETIMES ITS HARD

YET THE WORLD PUSHES YOU TO ONE WAY AND ITS ALWAYS PULLING ALWAYS MAKING THAT PEACE GO AWAY

BECAUSE THEY SAY YOU CAN'T BE HAPPY BROKE UM WHO SAYS SO

CAUSE YOU PUT ME OUT SAYING I HAVE TO WORK NOW DESPITE MY PAIN DESPITE MY INSECURITIES DESPITE THE FACT I WANTED TO PAINT FOR A LIVING

NOPE YOU CAN'T DO THAT CAUSE YOU ARE TAKING WHAT WE GIVE YOU UM IN AWAY YES BUT IT WASNT TO BE FOREVER JUST TILL I COULD GET BACK ON MY FEET WITH IT BUT NO THEY SAID YOU HAVE TO DO IT OUR WAY YET JUST THE BODY SAID DIFFERENTLY

NOW DESPITE THAT TOO IT MATTERS NOT WORK YOURSELF INTO A GRAVE THAT IS HOW THEY WANT IT

LEAVE ALL YOU HAVE ALL YOU KNOW TO BE SELF SUFFICIENT TO BE IN SOCIETY HMMMM

THAT SAME OLD CATCH 22

YOU CAN'T RUN YOU CAN'T HIDE YOU CAN'T EVEN LIVE IT THE WAY YOU WANT ANYMORE

A FRIEND TOLD ME A FRIEND OF HIS BUILT A HOUSE IN A TREE ON HIS LAND BUT HE WASN'T USING WHAT THE CITY SAID NO YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT HOUSE IN A TREE ON YOUR OWN SELF YOU HAVE TO BRING IT DOWN ON THE GROUND AND PAY US TAXES FOR THE LAND WITH A HOUSE AND NOT JUST LAND

AND WHEN HE REFUSED THEY PUT HIM IN THE CRAZY HOUSE SO THEY THEN COULD TAKE THAT TREE HOUSE AND LAND AND DESTROY IT SAYING HE WASN'T FIT FOR IT YET HE PUT THE SWEAT IN TO MAKE IT HE PAID HIS BILLS HE DID IT DIFFERENTLY BUT THEY SAID IT WAS WRONG

NO IT JUST DIDN'T FIT IN YOUR WAY OF THINKING YOUR WAY OF SOCIETY AS ANTS IN A HILL

SO NOW THAT IS DONE JUST ONE MORE TO PUT IN MY MEMORY OF HOW THINGS ARE SO BACKWARDS

SO HERE I HAVE A CHOICE NOW TOO THEY SAY YOU HAVE TO REPORT YOUR INCOME

SO I DID AS SELF EMPLOYED

THEN THE EMPLOYMENT DEPT SAID SORRY BUT ITS NOT PAYING THE BILLS WE PAY

SO WE ARE FORCING YOU TO WORK FOR THE ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD WORK 33.5 HOURS A WEEK THAT IS FULL TIME

EVEN THOUGH I PUT IN A NOTE SAYING I HAD LIMITED HEALTH ISSUES IT MATTERS NOT

CAUSE ITS NOT ENOUGH TO PAY THE RENT

IF YOU AREN'T PARTICIPATING IF YOU CAN'T WORK THEN YOU ARE DISABLED BUT THE GOV'T SAYS I CAN WORK I SPENT SEVEN YEARS FIGHTING THAT FOR WHAT NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT

I HAVE ISSUES BUT I CONTROL THEM SO I CAN WORK OK IF YOU SAY SO BUT IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG WHO PAYS FOR THAT IN THE END I DO

SO I DO WHAT THEY WANT AND THE LADY I WORK FOR SAYS GET A NOTE YOU CAN'T WORK ALL THOSE HOURS THE VICIOUS CYCLE I LIVE IN

SO I CAN DO PART TIME HOURS TO REST ONE DAY WORK THE NEXT YET THAT ISN'T ENOUGH TO GET ME OUT OF THIS MESS

AND WORKING FOR NOTHING DOESN'T FIX WHAT I AM ALREADY DEALING WITH

MY HEART SCREAMS ITS TIME TO ROAM AND LEAVE MY MIND SAYS

HOW AND WHERE AND WHY

MY BODY SAYS I DON'T WANT TO GO ANYWHERE SO I WILL GIVE YOU THIS PAIN SAYING I AM HERE AND SOMETHING IS WRONG BUT OK JUST IGNORE ME AS USUAL I WILL EVENTUALLY SHUT DOWN ON YOU

OR GIVE YOU MORE PAIN TILL YOU LISTEN

IT PUTS A PIT IN YOUR STOMACH HOW THINGS ARE AND HOW THEY MAKE IT BE WHEN ALL YOU WANTED WAS TO PAINT FOR A LIVING

NO SUPPORT NO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS CAUSE ITS NOT GOOD ENOUGH SO OK STOMP ON MY DREAMS MY HOPES MY LOVE OF LIFE GO AHEAD CHANGE IT UP AGAIN

YOU NEED TO WORK MORE WELL ALL MY SKILLS ARE TO WORK ARE NO WHERE NEAR HERE THAT MEANS I HAVE TO MOVE AWAY

FROM MY FAMILY MY FRIENDS MY LOVE OF WHAT I LIKE ABOUT WHERE I AM AT

TO JUST DO WHAT YOU SAY I HAVE TOO

I HATE BEING TOLD I HAVE TO DO ANYTHING JUST MAKES ME WANT TO REBEL

OH MY HEART IS SCREAMING TO RUN BUT WHERE DO I RUN WHY SHOULD I RUN AND HOW CAN I RUN

WHEN THERE IS NO WHERE TO GO

SO YOU COMPROMISE FOR AWHILE AND FORCE YOURSELF INTO THE HOLE THEY MAKE

TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHICH DIRECTION TO GO

OH MY MIND DREAMS OF PLACES AND GOES WHERE NO ONE ELSE CAN GO

AND YET ITS NOT GOOD ENOUGH NEVER IS IT ENOUGH

THEY LOOK AT YOU LIKE WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE LIKE US

THEY HAVE NO CLUE

I WILL NEVER BE LIKE THEM

AND THEY CAN'T MAKE ME CRAZY TO PROVE THEIR DAMN POINT

A FRIEND SAID WELL IF YOU GO TO HOSPITAL IT WILL CHANGE HOW THEY VIEW YOU AND YOU CAN GET IT FOR BEING MENTALLY INSANE

HELLO I WILL NOT GO THAT ROUTE TO BE CRAZY WHEN I AM NOT JUST SO I CAN SIT HOME AND PAINT MY LIFE AWAY

FUCK THAT SHIT

THAT IS NOT BEATING THE SYSTEM THAT IS JUST GIVING UP NO I WON'T GO THERE THEN I WOULD END UP CRAZY

BESIDES I BEEN THERE IN THAT SPOT AND IT DID ME NO GOOD CAUSE I REFUSED TO LET IT GET TO ME SO I PUT MY FEARS IN ITS PLACE

SO NOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO WHAT THEY WANT

ANYHOW

OH SO THAT MEANS LEAVING EVERYTHING I KNOW AND HAVE GROWN TO LOVE JUST TO SAY I AM APART OF THE WORKING SOCIETY

AND KNOW THAT

RIGHT NOW ... OK I AM STILL ON WELFARE STILL STUCK STILL IN HELL

JUST WORSE CAUSE I AM

WORKING FOR MY ROOF

INSTEAD OF WORKING SLOWLY

TO GET OUT OF THIS JUST TO MAKE YOU HAPPY

OK YEAH HOW LONG CAN I SERIOUSLY LIVE THIS WAY

STUCK IN THE INBETWEEN NOT HERE AND NOT THERE

OH THE WHEELZ ARE CALLING AND THE WIND SAYS LOVE YOU HAVE STAYED HERE FAR FAR TOO LONG

YOUR ROAMING GYPSY BLOOD IS SCREAMING AT YOU

YET THAT MEANS LEAVING THOSE CLOSE TO ME AGAIN

IF I STAY WHAT DOES IT DO I GIVE UP SOME HOW SOME WAY

IF I GO WHERE AND WHAT DO I DO ALONE

EITHER WAY I AM STILL ALONE

SO WHAT MATTER IS IT REALLY

WHEN THE FIRE IS DIM INSIDE AND YOU STILL WANT TO FIGHT AND MAKE IT KEEP GOING

WHAT A PICKLE I AM IN

OH TO THE ROAMING HEART CALLING ME TO JUST GO FIND WORK SOMEWHERE ELSE AND ALL WILL FALL INTO PLACE AND YOU WILL LOOK BACK ON IT AND BLINK AND NOT FRET

THEN MY MIND SAYS BUT WHAT IF IT DOESN'T FALL INTO PLACE BUT I FALL AGAIN CAN I GET BACK UP FROM THAT

WHY IS LIVING SO FUCKING MESSED UP WHEN ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS BE WHAT YOU LOVE

IF I COULD JUST GET UP THE NERVE TO SAY HMMM GO BACK

BUT THERE IS NOTHING BACK THERE TO GO TO EITHER

THEY ARE ALL GONE IN THERE WAY

AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS VISIT

ITS BEST TO LEAVE THAT WHERE IT IS

SO OK THERE HAS TO BE A FORWARD DIRECTION

I STILL HAVE TIME TO EITHER PUSH MY RESTLESS HEART ASIDE OR RIDE IT OUT AND BEGIN OUT ON THE ROAMIN' WHEELZ THAT ARE SCREAMING

AS NOW I AM SO STUCK IN THIS SILENCE

THE ONLY THING THAT COMFORTS ME NOW IS THE MUSIC THAT CAN BE PLAYED TO COUNTER THAT SILENCE

SO DO I STAY HERE ALONE AND BROKEN

OR DO I GO AND TRY NOT TO BE BROKEN YET STILL ALONE

HMMM

OH TO THE CHOICES BEFORE ME

TO THE WITH AND WITHOUT YEAH!

ROAMIN' WHEELZ ARE SCREAMING

FOR A WAY TO FREE MY HEART FREE MY MIND FREE MY BODY

OF ALL OF THIS WITHOUT GIVING UP

WHAT PART OF THIS IS THE SCALES TO WEIGH IN

LEAVE OR STAY


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