GOLD FLECKED BLUE STONE
(I SO ALMOST DIDN'T POST THIS BUT I HAVE TO SOMETIMES HURT IS IMPORTANT TO SAY EVEN IF NO ONE SEES IT)
GOLD FLECKED BLUE STONE
WAKING UP IN PAIN
THINKING I WILL
ENDURE IT
TO HAVE A GOOD
TIME NO
MATTER WHAT
SO SHORT
WHEN MOMENTS
ARE GONE
THEY ARE GONE
FOREVER
I TRY SO HARD
NOT TO GET
UPSET
AT HOW
THINGS GO
SOMETIMES
ITS VERY HARD
AND CUTS
VERY DEEP
LONELINESS
CONSUMES
FROM THE LACK
OF CARING
AND SELFISHNESS
OF OTHERS
NO DETAILS
GIVEN
I WALKED DOWN
ENJOYING
THE MOMENTS
LOOKING AT
THE LEAVES
CHANGING
COLORS
NOT YET FALLEN
THE COOLNESS
WAS REFRESHING
IN THE AIR
THE WARMTH
OF THE CIDER
COMFORTING
THE PEOPLE
BEING PEOPLE
DIDN’T BOTHER
ME SO MUCH
THEN I GET
THE SURPRISE
HI
ITS MY KID
WE GO FIND
A CURB
TO SIT ON
AND I LISTEN
TO HER
TALK
SMILING
AND ENJOYING IT
TREASURING
IT
THEY SAY
WE JUST GOT HERE
SO AFTER A FEW MINUTES
CHATTING
WE ARE GETTING
UP TO GO
WALK AROUND
SPEND SOME TIME
TOGETHER
AND
THEY GET THE
PHONE CALL
WE ARE LEAVING NOW
MY KID
SAYS WHY SO EARLY
I HAVEN’T
GOTTEN TO DO
MUCH
OR SPEND
MUCH TIME
I SAY WELL
LETS ENJOY IT
AS WE WALK
TO THE CENTER
WE CHAT MORE
ON BOOKS
SHE IS READING
WE SIT
CAUSE THEY
DON’T SEEM
TO BE IN A HURRY
SHE CHATS
A FEW MINUTES MORE
THEY IGNORE US
THEN THEY SAY
ARE YOU READY
SHE SAYS
I AM JUST
DISCUSSING
A BOOK
WITH MOM
BUT THAT ENDS IT
SO I HUG HER
AND THEY
GO TO EAT
OUT AT SOME PLACE
AND I AM
NOT ASKED TO SHARE
IN IT
I AM NOT ASKED
EVEN WHEN
I SAY
ALL I HAVE AT HOME
IS POTATOES
I WON’T POST THIS
I CAN’T
BUT THE HURT
IT BRINGS
IS SO DEEP
RIGHT NOW
I WANT TO
POST IT ALL
HOW UNWANTED
CAN ONE FEEL
SHE CALLS OUT
TO HIS MOM
SAYING MOM
I AM READY
HE GOES
BUT DONT
SAY THAT
IN FRONT OF YOUR
MOM
AND I SAY
ITS OKAY
WHEN INSIDE
IT JUST RIPPED
INTO MY SOUL
I KNOW I
HAVE BEEN
REPLACED
SHE NEVER
CALLS ME
I ALWAYS TALK TO HER
I ALWAYS MAKE
THE EFFORT
SO TO SEE
HER TODAY
WAS NICE
BUT IT WAS
SO SHORT LIVED
AND SO
DONE WRONG
LATER ON
I SEE THE OTHER
MOM’S POST
WE LEFT EARLY
BECAUSE
WE COULDN’T STAND
THE CROWDS
SO THE FACT
THEY SAID THEY
WERE HUNGRY
WAS
SO MUCH MORE
WRONG
THERE WAS
TONS OF FOOD
THERE
NO THEY
WANTED
A CERTAIN PLACE
AND I COULDN’T
GO FOR THREE REASONS
ONE
I HAD NO MONEY
TO EAT
A DINNER
I WOULD HAVE HAD
TO BORROW MONEY
AND
THEY WOULD HAVE
HAD TO BRING ME HOME
SO IN PAIN
I WALKED HOME
IN PHYSICAL PAIN
AND EMOTIONAL PAIN
I LEFT
WITH MY HEAD DOWN
AND DIDN’T LOOK
BACK
NOW I AM JUST
SAD
THE HAPPY MOMENT
WAS STOLEN
AND ALTERED
CATASTROPHE
MAKING MY
HEART ACHE
IN A SORROW
I CAN’T REPLACE
THIS
UNWANTED
FEELING
DEEP DOWN
FROM THE
SHOULD BE
CLOSEST TOO
AND
I AM NOT
I AM CLOSER
TO FRIENDS
AND SOMETIMES
EVEN STRANGERS
THAN THAT
SUCH A HORRIBLE
FEELING
I AM A STRONG
PERSON
AND WILL BE ALRIGHT
YET
THE HURT
LINGERS LIKE
SMOKE
FILLING
THE LUNGS AND
KILLING
EVERYTHING
SLOWLY
I DON’T KNOW
HOW MUCH
MORE
I CAN TRULY
TAKE
WHY AM
I SO STUCK
IN A PLACE
WHERE
I AM NOT WANTED
AND LEFT
ALONE
BY THOSE
I LOVE
THE MOST
I TRULY
DON’T
UNDERSTAND IT
IF I COULD
LEAVE
AND NEVER
LOOK BACK
WOULD SHE
EVEN MISS ME
I SO WONDER
I NEVER EVER
TREATED MY
OWN MOTHER
WITH SUCH
WAYS
AND SHE
DID ME SO WRONG
BY DISOWNING ME
OVER THE FACT
I TOLD
PEOPLE
I WAS GAY
THERE ARE SOMETHINGS
IN LIFE
THAT CUT YOU
TO THE DAMN BONE
SO
I SIT HERE
DRINKING MY TEA
AND CRYING
MY EYES OUT
TO THE POINT
I JUST
WANT TO
GO TO SLEEP
AND NOT THINK
ON IT
EVER AGAIN
I CANT LET
THIS HARBOR
SUCH ILLS
IN ME
I HAVE TO LET
GO EVEN MORE NOW
FOR MY
OWN SANITY
I CAN’T
LET IT GET
TO ME
BUT
IT SO HURTS
ALL
IN THE NAME
OF LOVE
AND I AM
SO DENIED
OH I WISH
I COULD BE
LIKE THAT
SMOOTH STONE
I WAS LOOKING AT
THE MIDNIGHT BLUE
WITH GOLD
FLECKS
LIKE A STONE
COLD AND SMOOTH
AND BEAUTIFUL
TO LOOK AT
BUT I AM NOT A STONE
NOR CAN
I STAY SO COLD
IT WOULD
DESTROY MY
HEART
COMPLETELY
TO BE
SO COLD
I WOULDN’T
CARE
FOR ANYONE
AND I
CAN’T
BE LIKE THAT
I CAN’T
OH HOW I WISH
I COULD BE
LIKE MY MOM
OUT OF SIGHT
OUT OF MIND
SIGH
AND SO
I CARRY ON
AND
ENDURE
SOMEHOW
HOPING
THAT ONE
DAY
THINGS
COULD
AND
WOULD
BE
SO DIFFERENT.
