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Poetry and Writings

WHEN LOVE WAITS ONLY SO LONG...


SOMETIMES MEMORIES COME BACK

AND I SIT THERE GOING YES

I DID THE RIGHT THING NO MATTER WHAT...

THE OUTCOME WAS...

WHEN LOVE WAITS ONLY SO LONG…

LOOKED AWAY FROM

THE PENETRATING EYES

AND SHE HELD MY CHIN

“I AM NOT ASKING MORE

THAN I SHOULD”

SOMETIMES I HATE

WHAT THIS IS

DOING TO ME

ALL THE EMOTIONS

UP AND DOWN

CHURNING IN AND OUT

THIS FEELING THAT

INTRUDES INTO

MY MIND AT THE THOUGHT

OF BEING ABLE

TO EVEN DARE TO TOUCH.

HER FINGERS MOVED

FROM HER CHIN

UP ACROSS HER CHEEK

AND I HELD MY BREATH.

WAITING FOR YOU

TO COME

AND KISS ME

AS I GAZE INTO HER

EYES.

OH THE DARK

AND UNFATHOMABLE EYES

TO THE BRIGHT

ELECTRIC SHADES

OF THE DRASTIC

CONTRASTING BLUE

OF MINE

JUST AS UNFATHOMABLE

OH HOW YOU KNOW

HOW TO

SPARK THE BLOOD

IN THE CLEARING

OF THE AIR HERE

ON THIS WONDERFUL

PAGE OF THOUGHTS

CAUSE ITS JUST

SIMPLY THAT WAY

I CAN BE SOMETIMES

OH NEVER

NEVER HAVE I WANTED

NOTHING

MORE THAN TO BE

IN MY FAVORITE

PLACE

WHICH WOULD

BE IN BED WITH YOU

MY DEAR

AS I DREAM ON

WATCHING

A QUICK FEATHER LIGHT

BRUSH OF YOUR

LIPS LIKE A GHOST

PUSHING IN THE AIR

AGAINST EACH OF US

THEN SUDDENLY

LIKE NOTHING

LET GO AND WALKED AWAY

OH TO FEEL AS I STARE

THE BEMUSED LOOKS

OF OTHERS WHEN

YOU WERE GONE FROM ME

BUT TO THE THOUGHTS

OF HER FINGERTIPS

ON HER FACE

WHERE SHE HAD TOUCHED

MAKING MY HEART

RACE AT THE

TEASING ACTION.

SHE SAID I WILL

SEE YOU LATER

KEEP THE CANDLE LIT

IN THE WINDOW

TIL I GET BACK

I SIGH AND NOD

AND SHUT THE DOOR

KNOWING MY OPINION

IN THIS MEANS

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

TO SHOW A LITTLE

PATIENCE

AND NO WORRY

FOR I KNOW WHERE

I STAND IN THIS

ITS JUST

A MATTER

OF TIME I LET MY

HEART CATCH UP

WITH MY HEAD

ON WHATS REALLY

GOING ON

I SENSE IT

I SEE IT

I CAN EVEN TASTE

IT IN THE AIR

I RETURN TO THE PLACE

SO SILENT

AND LOCK IS IN PLACE

AND THE CHAIN

SLIDING OVER

I CLOSE MY EYES

AND SIGH

BACK TO DRIFTING

OFF INTO A MEMORY

REWARD COMES TO THOSE

THAT DESERVE IT

AND WAIT FOR IT

AT LEAST THAT IS WHAT

I ALWAYS THOUGHT

GROWING UP

BUT TO HEAR THOSE WORDS

OH TWO OUT OF THREE

ISN’T SO BAD HUN

LEAVES A SCAR

ON THE HEART

TO MATCH ALL THE OTHERS

ITS A MATTER FOR

YOUR CONSCIENCE TO DEAL

WITH

EVERYTHING SAID

CUTS LIKE A KNIFE

STILL HOLD ONTO

TWO HALVES OF THIS HEART

FOR YEARS

FLOWING INTO THE MEMORY

NOW… SHE RAISED

HER EYES A SWEET

INNOCENT TONE

THERE WAS NO STEALING

OF THIS HEART

BECAUSE IT WAS LONG

GONE A CENTURY

OR TWO AGO

SO NOT TO RAISE

YOUR DISPLEASURE

WE LIVED BY THE

DOUBLE STANDARDS

OF WHERE NOW HER

HUSBAND NO LONGER SITS

NOR DO I

NO DIFFERENT THAN

ANYONE ELSE

IN THE END OF THINGS

WHO WOULD REACT

TO THIS KNOWING

IN MY HEART

YEARS AND YEARS LATER

ALL THIS TIME

IT WAS THERE UNDERNEATH

PLAYING ITS CARDS

WAITING TO DEAL IT OUT

MY BELLY WAS KNOTTED

WITH TENSION

AND EVERY BITE OF FOOD

TASTED SO AWFUL

WITH NO FLAVOR

OR MEANING

ALL I WANTED WAS TO

WALK OUT THE DOOR

AND NEVER LOOK BACK

BUT THEN

I SAT THERE

AND MADE THIS CONNECTION

OH ITS BEEN SO LONG

A WAIT

I HEAR IN MY HEAD

BEWARE AS I READ

THE TEXT

I WILL SOON JOIN YOU

AS ITS WRITTEN ON THE PHONE

A FEW HOURS GO BY

IT WAS STILL EARLY

AND I HEAR YOU

WALK TO THE DOOR.

SEEING YOU PUT

YOUR STUFF DOWN

I WALK SILENTLY

BEHIND YOU

PUT MY ARMS AROUND

YOU HUGGING

YOU SO CLOSE

SAYING IS IT ALL GOING

OK

OUR BED IS WAITING

TO TAKE YOUR MIND

OFF

OH TO THAT MISSING PULSE

OF HOW I COULD

SEPARATE EVERYTHING

AND LET IT RIDE

SOMEWHERE DEEP

DOWN INSIDE

STILL AMAZES ME

ON THE NEED

TO BE FRUSTRATED

AND ANGRY

HAD NO PLACE BUT

IN LIMBO

I SIT DOWN AND FALL

INTO YOUR LAP

AS

SHE SAID

WELL THE MUSIC

WAS STILL GOING WELL

I JUST SMILED

AND SAID IT ALWAYS

DOES IN ITS SMALL WAY

SHE SAID YEAH

BUT I AM TIRED

OF MAKING THE APPEARANCES

I SAID THEN WALK AWAY

FROM IT ALL

AND JUST STAY HERE

WITH ME

FOR AWHILE LONGER

SHE SAID I WISH I COULD

BUT THAT IS NOT

HOW IT WILL BE

AND YOU KNOW IT

BUT WE HAVE

RIGHT HERE AND NOW

I EXPECTED

MY HEART TO EXPLODE

AS I SAID OK

BUT INSIDE I WAS SCREAMING

WHY DO I ALWAYS

LET THIS GET

SO FAR FAR AWAY

FROM WHERE

I SHOULD LET IT BE

NO WHEN YOU LEAVE

THIS TIME

NEXT TIME

I WON’T BE HERE

BUT FOR NOW

I LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW

YOUR BREATH ON

MY NECK

I SAID

I AM SURE IT WILL

BE AS GREAT

AS EXPECTED

I FEEL THE GENTLE KISSES

THERE

NOT ANOTHER WORD

IS SPOKEN

FROM THIS POINT

ON I LEAN

MY HEAD BACK

AND WE JUST SIT THERE

IN THE CHAIR SILENT

WE BOTH KNEW

CHANGES WERE COMING

I WAS FINISHING

THE FIRST ROUND

OF THE SECOND YEAR

IN COLLEGE

AND THEY WERE

ABOUT TO LEAVE

TO GO TO NEW YORK

OUR EYES FASTEN ONTO

EACH OTHER

FEEL YOUR HANDS

RAISE UNDER MY SHIRT

AND START ROAMING

YOUR EYES

ALL SHINING AND

TWINKLING

IN THEIR GEMS

MY HAND REACHES UP

UNDER TO LOCK

WITH YOURS

AND JUST HOLD YOU

TO MY CHEST

CLOSER

OH SO ACUTELY

AWARE OF WHERE

YOUR MIND IS

COMPARED TO WHERE

MINE IS

YET I NOTICE THE CREY

COLOR IN MY SHIRT

AS I SEE RIGHT THROUGH IT

AND HOW THIN

IT REALLY IS GOING

OH I AM SURE

THAT IS PARTLY WHY

YOU KISS MY LIPS

AND I GLANCE UP

TO THE STAIRS TO

THE END OF THE STUDY

AND FIRMLY LOCK

YOUR ARMS

AROUND MY WAIST

AND SAY INTO MY EAR

I NEED NOW

I SIGH AND REACH

BACK PULLING

YOUR HEAD INTO MINE

AND KISS YOU

HARSHLY

AND SHOVE YOU BACK

SAYING

I KNOW YOU DO

JUMPING UP

SAYING IF YOU NEED

THEN COME CATCH ME

AND I GO TO THE STAIRS

RUSHING UP

AND

I SLIP

AND START TO FALL BACK

WITH SHOCK

YOU ARE THERE

TOWERING OVER ME

SAYING ARENT YOU GLAD

I WAS RIGHT BEHIND YOU

TURNING ME AROUND

PULLING ME AGAIN

CLOSE

HOLDING MY WAIST

I STARE AT YOU

AND YOU BACK AT ME

I SMILE

MY FINGERS GO TO

YOUR BUTTONS

AND UNDO THE

FIRST THREE

REACHING IN

ON THE WALL

YOU PUSH ME TO IT

ACROSS THE STAIRWAY

I FEEL MY CHEST

PERK AT THE COOL AIR

THAT IS REPLACED

FROM WHERE MY SHIRT

WAS

AND

I LET OUT A GASP

THIS IS OUR LAST MOMENT

YOU SAY

YES SO LETS NOT

LET IT GO TO WASTE

THE FEVER FIRE

BEGINS TO RAGE

IN US BOTH

AS MY MEMORY

BRAKES OFF

AND I HEAR THE CAR

DRIVE OFF

I ALWAYS LET

THEM WALK AWAY