HEART ISN'T MINE
HEART ISN’T MINE
S.JENSEN © 2017
TO THE LITTLE BIRDIE
SINGING OUT
MY WINDOW
CARRY THIS
MESSAGE OUT
TO WHERE
IT BELONGS…
CARRY OUT
THIS TO
MY ORION’S
RINGS...
WHEN DREAMS
MEET US IN THE
MIDDLE
AND ALL THE
DESIRES OF
THOSE NEEDED
MOMENTS
ARE FADED LIKE
THE WALL ART
HANGING TAPESTRY
TATTERED AND TORN
YET STILL FUNCTIONING
WHERE DO
WE SIT
IN THE STORM
CAUSE
WHERE I AM
IS NOT WHERE
I WISH
YET I DEAL
WITH IT
AS THERE IS
NOTHING ELSE
THAT CAN BE
OH TO MY
METAPHORS
OF JUMBLED EMOTIONS
WHEN
LOVE
SO STUNG
AND STILL
STINGS
IF YOU THINK
ON IT
SO I DON’T THINK ON IT
OH TO MY
DEAR
THE THINGS
THAT GET IN THE WAY
AND TURN
ONE TO THE
SOUR GRAPE CANDY
BUT OH
WHAT A TASTE
SO I TURNED
TO PEPPERMINT
AND NEVER
SEEMED TO LEAVE
THAT THOUGHT
JUST TIME
CAN TAKE AWAY
FROM YOU
THE THINGS
THAT MAKE YOUR
HEART BEAT
IF YOU LET IT
SO I DON’T
LET IT
ITS THAT SMOOTH
SPACE TO
REST MY HEAD
IN THE COMFORT
TO BE CARRIED
INTO A DREAM
THAT WAS SO SO
REAL TO ME
NOT SURE
HOW IT WAS
ON THE OTHERSIDE
IT WAS ALL
FREE AND GIVEN
AND NEVER
EVER A STRING
YET
THE DESIRES
ARE ALL WASTED
ON THE SANDS
AND THE HEART
STILL SITS
WAITING
IN THAT
WONDERFUL
FOOLISH WAY
OH TO THOSE
THAT LOVE ME
AND I DON’T AND
CAN’T LOVE THEM BACK
ITS NOT THEIR FAULT
ITS CAUSE
SOMETHING IN ME
IS SO STIRRING
IN A DIRECTION
THAT MAKES
NO FREAKING SENSE
ANYMORE
OPPORTUNITIES
ARE ALL AROUND
AND THE BIT
SO SIMPLE TO TAKE
AND
ALL DIRECTIONS
ARE NOT WHERE I
WANT TO GO
NONE OF THEM
COMPARE TO
THE THOUGHTS
AND MEMORIES
AND DREAMS
OF THAT
WHICH REALLY
ISN’T
BUT SO COULD
HAVE BEEN
BUT CIRCUMSTANCES
ALWAYS
SEEM TO STAND
IN THE WAY
WHERE MY HEART
STANDS
COMPARED TO
THE MEASURES
OF WHAT IS AND
WHAT ISN’T
HOW CAN YOU
TELL YOUR HEART
TO LET GO
WHEN EVERYTHING
ELSE HAS DONE SO
LONG LONG AGO
BUT
THERE IS THAT
NAGGING THING
INSIDE
THAT SAYS
ITS CAUSE YOU DON’T
LOVE THESE
OPPORTUNITIES
THAT PRESENT THEMSELVES
THEY ARE ALL
BROKEN PIECES
AND YOU JUST DON’T
WANT TO BE
THE PUZZLE PIECE
TO PUT THEM
IN THEIR PLACE
YOU WANT
SOMETHING DIFFERENT
AWAY FROM ALL
THE BROKEN
AND JADED
AND TORN THINGS
SOMETHING NEW
AND SOMETHING
WONDERFUL
AND CHALLENGING
AND CARING
AND IS IT STILL
THERE
IS THERE STILL
SOMETHING TO GRASP
BEFORE THAT
NAIL SAILS ITS COURSE
RUN AND RUN
AWAY
DOWN
THE HILL
LONG LONG AGO
AND YOU JUST
HOLD ON TO
WHAT
TO WHAT
OH TO WHAT
DO I HOLD TO
FAR FAR AWAY
MY LIL BIRDIE
TWO THAT WALK
ALWAYS IN THEIR
WAY
AND
NOTHING WRONG
WITH THAT
TELL MY HEART
TO KEEP GOING
ON
AND
ON
IN SOME KIND
OF DREAM
THAT
IS SO SO LONG
LOST
ON THE SWEETNESS
OF A MOMENT
THAT WAS
AND YET WASN’T
THE IN BETWEEN
TRUTHS TO LIES
AND THE WONDERFUL
TRAVELING
THAT WENT WITH
THAT DREAM
DIDN’T WANT
TO WAKE UP
NEVER WANTED
TO WAKE UP
AND
PULSE BEATS SO
FAST NOW
AND ONLY
WHAT WILL SLOW
IT DOWN
IS LIKE A BLANKET
AROUND MY
BODY
YET ITS
NOT HAPPY
WITH WHAT OPPORTUNITIES
THAT COME
UP TO ME
OH THE CHOICES
THAT ARE THROWN
AT MY FEET
ARE NEVER EVER
GONNA MATCH
AND I KNOW THAT
WHERE DID IT GO
WHERE DID I GO
HOW DID I WALK
OUT AND NOT COME BACK
WHILE STILL
SITTING HERE
AND ALL I SAW
AND ALL I FELT
AND ALL I AM
HOW DO YOU JUST
SAY OK
MIND YOU KNOW
ITS NOT GONNA
EVER BE
OK HEART YOU
KNOW ITS
NOT EVER GONNA
BE
OK SOUL YOU
KNOW WHERE YOU ARE
AND WHO YOU ARE
AND WHERE YOU WANT
TO BE
AND YET
SOUL YOU KNOW
WHERE YOU ARE
NOT EVER GONNA BE
HOW DO YOU RECOVER
FROM THIS
HEART
MIND
AND SOUL
ALL
MET SOULMATES
AND CAN’T CHANGE
THAT
ALL THESE HEARTS
RUNNING AROUND
SCREAMING
SAYING
COME ON
GIVE IN TO ME
AND YET
THIS HEART SAYS
NO I CAN’T
I DON’T WANT YOU
I DON’T NEED YOU
I DON’T LOVE YOU
THAT WAY
ANY MORE
THE ONES I DO
I CAN’T BE WITH
FOR WHATEVER
FREAKING MESSED UP
REASONING
SO I SIT HERE
AND SCREAM
TO THE AIR
WHY
WHY ME
WHY YOU CURSE
MY HEART
IN SUCH A WAY
WHY SHOW ME
AND WHY DESIRE
AND WHY PLAY THE
GAME
JUST TO TURN MY
MIND INTO
A MUSH OF EMOTIONS
WHICH
AQUARIANS
DON’T DO SO WELL WITH
TO BEGIN WITH
MY HEART ISN’T MINE
OH IT ISN’T MINE
ANYMORE
AND THAT IS
ALL YOUR FAULT
SO ALL YOUR FAULT
AND YOU KNOW IT
SO
…
SO
…
SO
…
JUST WALK AWAY
JUST GO AWAY
JUST LEAVE ME BE
IF THERE
IS NOTHING THERE
IF IT WAS ALL A LIE
TO SUIT YOUR
SELFISHNESS
OH ROUGE YOU
THIEF SO STOLE
MY HEART AWAY
OH ROUGE
YOU CARRIED IT
AWAY WITH
ONE WORD
ONE SYMBOL
ONE SET MOMENT
AND THAT
IS VERY
PRIVATE
IN A PUBLIC
WAY
SO I GO ON
CAUSE WHAT ELSE
CAN I DO
BUT NO ONE I SEE
NO ONE I KNOW
NO ONE I CARE FOR
SEEMS TO
EVEN GET CLOSE
MY HEART IS SO NOT MINE
IT NEVER WAS MINE
HOW DO YOU TELL IT
TO JUST LET IT BE
ITS NEVER GONNA BE
LET IT GO
JUST LET IT GO
TELL YOUR HEART
TO SETTLE
OH I SO HATE SETTLING
FOR WHAT IS HERE
WHEN NONE OF IT
HAS A REAL FUTURE
OH TO MY
IN’S AND OUT’S
OF THAT
FOUR LETTER WORD
THAT CURSES
MY SOUL SO
MY HEART WILL
NEVER EVER BE MINE
AND NOW
ITS EVEN WORSE
THAN BEFORE
CAUSE NO ONE
HERE SEEMS
TO EVEN COMPARE
YOU ARE GONE
AND LONG LEFT
AND IRONICALLY
I MISS YOU
I TELL MYSELF
I DON’T
THAT I DON’T CARE
THAT WHAT HAPPENED
WAS FOR THE BEST
BUT ITS SO
MESSED UP
THAT RAPTURE
OF THOUGHT
WOULD NEVER
EVER BE THE SAME
AS THAT
IT CAN’T BE
ITS NOT REAL
ITS NOT NOTHING
I MADE IT SOMETHING
INTO MORE THAN
IT WAS
I HAD TO HAVE
I KEEP TELLING MYSELF
THAT
ITS JUST ME
THAT I AM THE FOOL
IF I KEEP THINKING
OTHERWISE
OH BUT TO THE FUN
AND THRILL
OF THAT RIDE
WHETHER IT WAS
REAL OR NOT
THE SPARKLES
IN THOSE EYES
I SPARKLED SO BRIGHTLY
WHERE DID IT GO
WHEN REALITY SET IN
AND SAID
YOU MEAN ABSOLUTELY
NADA
WAKE UP
AND KNOW THE TRUTH
DON’T FOOL YOURSELF
ANYMORE
TAKE ONE OF THESE
OPPORTUNITIES
THAT ARE INFRONT
OF YOU
DON’T HOLD OUT
FOR A DREAM
THAT WILL NEVER
COME BACK AROUND
ITS GONE
LONG LONG GONE
TELL MY HEART
THAT
OH I TRY SO HARD
ITS SO NOT MINE
ALL I SEE NOW
IS FLAWS IN EVERYONE
THAT COULD BE
MORE
AND I AM LIKE
NOW I DON’T
WANT ANY OF THOSE
FLAWS
WHEN SOMETHING
OF A PEARL
HOLDS MY MIND
MY HEART
AND MY SOUL
IN ANOTHER REALM
IN ANOTHER DREAM
IN ANOTHER PLACE
THAT JUST
MAKES NO SENSE
I HAVE
TO FIND
SOME WAY TO
SAY LOVE’S HARSH
WAKE
WALK OVER ME
AND LEAVE ME BE
CAUSE THAT
MAKES IT BETTER
CAUSE ITS NEVER
EVER GONNA BE
SO LET IT GO
WHY
IS THAT
SO HARD TO DO
WHAT BINDS ME
SO
WHAT SCREAMS AT ME
THAT YOU
KNOW WHERE
YOU NEED TO BE
BEFORE ALL FALLS
YOU SO KNOW WHERE
YOU NEED TO BE
AND
YET I AM SO SO
FREAKING FAR FAR
AWAY FROM
THAT POINT
AND SITUATIONS
MAKE ANY
LETTER OF WORDS
I WANT TO SAY
OR WRITE
NEVER EVER COME
OUT RIGHT
CAUSE I LOSE
IT ON THE STRANGENESS
OF
PASSIONS
AND
DREAMS
OH MY HEART IS NOT
MINE
AND ITS IN LOVE
WITH THOSE
I CAN NEVER HAVE
OH MY
OH MY
GOODNESS
WHAT A SORRY SPOT
TO BE
AND I LET MYSELF
GET HOOKED
AND DRAGGED IN
TO IT
I SO DID
ALWAYS LET
YOU IN
I ALWAYS LET
YOU IN
WHY!
WHEN I KNOW BETTER
OH ITS BECAUSE
MY HEART
HAS NEVER EVER
BEEN MINE
FROM THAT DAY
YEARS AND YEARS AGO
WITH A SIMPLE
WORD
A MISPLACED
NEEDLE IN THE HAY STACK
OF A PROMISE
AND YEARS
OF HELL IN BETWEEN
SAYING OH
YOU KNOW YOU ARE
ON THE WRONG DIRECTION
FIX IT
WELL I CAN’T
FIX IT ANYMORE
NOT BY MYSELF
AND I ADMIT THAT
ITS ALL MY FAULT
IF THAT HELPS ANY
ITS ALL MY FAULT
EVEN IF ITS NOT
ITS ALL MY FAULT
CAUSE HONEY
YOU KNOW
AS I KNOW
MY HEART
HAS NEVER EVER
BEEN MINE.
FORGIVE ME
I AM SORRY
FOR WHAT
MY HEART FEELS…
HE HAS YOU
AND YOU HAVE HIM
AND I DON’T
HAVE EITHER
OF YOU…
AND YOU SO
TRIED TO MAKE
ME HATE
AND ANGRY
OH YOU SO DID
AND IT WORKED
IT SO WORKED
BUT TELL MY
HEART THAT ITS
NOT RIGHT
TO LONG FOR YOU BOTH
NOW
TELL ME
ITS ALL YOUR FAULT
ITS ALL MY FAULT
ITS ALL OUR FAULT
NOW I GO
ON
AND
ON
WONDERING
WHERE
TO LAY MY SWEETNESS
DOWN
ONE DAY
SOME DAY
OR LET IT
JUST FALL DOWN
INTO THE
DEEP BLUE OCEAN
LIKE THE ARROW
THAT BROKE
OFF WHEN
IT HIT
OH
MY HEART IS NOT MINE
AND
I DON’T KNOW
WHAT TO DO
ABOUT IT NOW
IF THERE IS
REALLY ANYTHING
THAT CAN EVER
REALLY BE
ANYHOW
IT IS WHAT IT IS
SO
MAYBE I WILL
FIND SOME
WAY
TO TURN IT ALL
OFF AND
STOP THE DAMN
TEARS
AND
LET
THAT WORTH
GO
AND SAY
IT NEVER WAS ANYHOW
SO WHAT I
SAW
WHAT I SEEN
WHAT I FELT
WAS
NOT FOR ME
ANYHOW
SO MAYBE
THAT WILL MAKE
IT MORE RIGHT
CAUSE
FOR EVER
LETTING IT BE
MEANS
MY HEART IS NEVER MINE
I GUESS
TWO OUT OF THREE
AIN’T BAD
WORKING IT OUT
TURNED MY HEART
COLD
AND BACK AROUND
AGAIN
CAUSE
THAT WAS WHATEVER
YOU THOUGHT
WOULD MAKE IT OK
ALL IT DID
WAS MAKE IT WORSE
SO I STAND
AND ITS SO SILENT NOW
AND WHAT WILL BE
WILL BE
AND WHAT WON’T BE
WON’T BE
ITS ALL IN
THE CIRCUMSTANCES
OF MY
FOOLISH WAYS
OF LOVING
IN SO SUCH
A STRANGE WAY
I ALWAYS
WALK AWAY
SO OTHERS
CAN REMAIN HAPPY
AND
YET
WHY DOES IT
ALWAYS HAVE
TO END THIS WAY…
OH MY HEART
COME BACK
TO ME
SO I CAN BE
FINALLY OK
CAUSE
THERE IS NO
TORTURE IN IT
IT JUST IS
SO TO THE GODS
HELP ME
WASH THIS AWAY
SO I CAN
BE SOMETHING
TO SOMEONE
SOMEDAY
BUT ITS NOT
FOR ANY HERE
RIGHT NOW
AND
I HAVE TO LET
THEM ALL KNOW
OH TO MY
IN’S AND OUT’S
OF
THAT FOUR LETTER
WORD
LOVE
EITHER
LEAVE ME
OR LOVE ME
YOU FREAKING HEART
CAUSE LOVE
CURSE
NEEDS TO LEAVE
OUT THAT DOOR
AND I REMAIN
ALONE
OR
LET SOMEONE IN
FINALLY
CAUSE
I HAVE TO SEE
WHAT WILL NEVER
BE WILL NEVER BE
AND WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN
IS SO LOST NOW
AND
ITS ALL CAUSE
I SO FELL HARD
WHERE I GUESS I SHOULDN’T HAVE
BUT THAT
IS ALL YOUR FAULT
LOVE
ITS ALL YOUR FAULT
AND
ALL MY FAULT
OH SO ALL MY FAULT
AND
ITS
ALL OF OUR FAULTS
HOW TO WALK
AWAY
WHEN MY HEART
STILL SCREAMS
OUT…
WHY DOES IT
SCREAM…
OH ITS SO NOT MINE
I LOVE SO
I SO LOVE YOU
HIGHER LOVE
FRIENDSHIP LOVE
OH
I LOVE YOU
TO GOING ON
AND ON…
LOVE
OH LOVE
TO ETERNITY
WALKING
OUT ON
THE CLOUDS
TO WHERE
WE WILL
ONE DAY
MEET ON THE
STAIRS
HALF WAY UP
AND HALF WAY DOWN
FROZEN
MY HEART ROSE
ISN’T MINE
ITS SO LONG LOST
AND
MAYBE
ONEDAY
I WILL
BE ABLE TO
SAY IT DON’T
GET ME ANYMORE
AND
I CAN SO
GO ON...
