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Poetry and Writings

1000 MILES AWAY


1000 MILES AWAY

S.JENSEN © 2017

LISTENING TO

THESE SOUNDS

OF NOISE

COMING FROM

MY COMPUTER

I HAVEN’T

LISTENED

TO THIS

IN FIVE YEARS

IRONY

THE PAIN OF THIS

MUSIC

HURT ME

THEN

CAUSE IT WAS

MY EX PARTNERS

FAVORITE MUSIC

AND I LOST

HER

TO THAT SAME

DARN THING

SHE TOOK HER

LIFE

WHILE ON THE PHONE

TO ME

OVER 1000 MILES AWAY

SOMETHING

THAT ACHES

IN THE LEFT HOLE

IT NEVER CHANGES

THAT

PRESSURE

OF IT ALL

SO OPPOSITE

OF HOW I AM

AND HAVE BEEN

I WAS ONCE

IN A DARK PLACE

AND I WORKED

THROUGH IT

BECAUSE

I LOVE LIFE

MORE THAN

ANYTHING

YET SO MANY

I KNOW TALK

TO ME

SAYING THEY

ARE TIRED

AND DON’T

WANT TO BE HERE

ANYMORE

AND FOR EACH

ONE I TRY

TO HELP THEM

AND LET

THAT BE

SOMETHING

THEY DON’T DO

YET I KNOW

AS I LOSE

AND WE ALL

LOSE

THOSE WE LOVE

DEARLY

TO THIS

THAT RULES

IN THEIR

MINDS

AND OVER POWERS

THEM

SENDS A CHILL

TO MY BONES

AS THE TEARS

FLOW

SO HELPLESS

SO LONELY

SO DARK

DO THEY GO

SHE TRIED TO

TAKE ME WITH HER

AND I WAS STRONGER

THEN LATER

SHE DID IT

AND WANTED

TO LEAVE ME

IN PAIN THAT

WILL NEVER GO

AWAY

AND IT WAS

THE SAME DAY

MY SISTER

DIED

AND THE SAME

TIMEFRAME

IT TAKES

A STRONG HEART

A STRONG MIND

A STRONG SPIRIT

TO OVERCOME

THIS

PAIN SHE LEFT

OK

I HAVE LISTENED

ENOUGH

I CAN’T

GO THERE

ANY MORE

SO MANY

HAVE FALLEN

IN THAT SAME

PATHWAY

SUICIDE IS NOT

A WAY OUT

NO MATTER

HOW BAD IT IS

ITS NOT A RELEASE

MAYBE ITS

JUST HOW

I TRULY BELIEVE

MY

DEPTH OF BEING

THAT PREVENTS

ME FROM

EVER

EVEN GOING THERE

I AM NOT PERFECT

AND I HAVE

SO WRITTEN

ON ALL THE

SORROW

AND ALL THE PAIN

AND HURT

IN MY LIFE

AND THE SHATTERED

FEEL OF

GLASS

FROM IT ALL

BUT I WOULD

AND HAVE NOT

EVER

WANTED TO END

IT ALL

I FIGHT IT

WITH EVERYTHING

IN MY BEING

BECAUSE

LOVE LIVES

IN ME

OH THE TEARS

STILL FALL

I TELL THEM

THAT I LISTEN TO

TO HANG IN THERE

AND TRY

HARD TO FIND

A MEANING

IN THIS WORLD

TO HOLD TO

THIS LIFE

YET I LOSE

MORE THAN

I HAVE SAVED

SOME

VERY

VERY

CLOSE

TO ME

THEIR SUFFERING

MAY END

BUT FOR US

LEFT BEHIND

OURS LIVES

AS LONG

AS WE LIVE

YOU GO

THROUGH

ALL THE EMOTIONS

I AM SORRY

BUT IF I DON’T

UNDERSTAND IT

I WILL NEVER

UNDERSTAND IT

I DIDNT THEN

AND I DON’T NOW

NO MATTER

HOW MUCH

I WRITE

THAT SEEMS

SO DARK AND SAD

AND LOST

IT WOULD NEVER

EVER MEAN

THE END

IN A WAY

THAT TAKES

MY OWN LIFE

NOT INTENTIONALLY

I AM ALWAYS

1000 MILES AWAY

AND

THAT PAINFUL

TRIGGER

LINGERS

AND HOLDS

ME

YET I SURVIVE

AND

I TRY SO

HARD

TO CONTINUE

TO OVERCOME

IF THERE

IS A DEMON

OUT THERE

THAT MAKES

PEOPLE

SUICIDAL

OR HOMICIDAL

OR BOTH

I WILL

NEVER UNDERSTAND

THE REASON

BEHIND IT

AND IF I COULD

TAKE IT OUT

OF EVERYONES LIFE

THAT IS ONE

I WOULD SO

TAKE AWAY

SITTING IN SILENCE

FOR

I AM

CRYING

AND CAN’T

STOP

OK I GO LIGHT

A CANDLE

FOR ALL THOSE

THAT

HAVE IN THE

PASSED DIED

IN THIS WAY

AND

TO HELP

ALL OF US LEFT

TO DEAL WITH

THE FOREVER AFTERMATH

SISTER

(THOUGH I STILL SAY SHE WAS MURDERED)

LOVER

( FOUGHT TO SAVE HER

FOR FIVE YEARS)

COUSIN

FRIENDS

CELEBRITIES

TOO MANY

IN THIS WORLD

TOO MANY!!!

ONLY WAY

TO MEND

A BROKEN HEART

IS TO FILL

IT WITH LOVE

LOVE OF SELF

LOVE OF OTHERS

LOVE

THAT IS SO HARD

FOR SO MANY

TO FEEL

I LEAVE

A ROSE

TO ALL OF THEM

@}--’------

MAY THOSE

THAT CONTINUE

TO STRUGGLE

WITH IT

HAVE THE STRENGTH

AND COURAGE

AND FAITH

AND LOVE

TO KNOW

HOW IMPORTANT

THEY ARE

AND THAT

THEY ARE

WORTHWHILE

AND WORTHY

OF LIFE

NOT TO

GO THAT ROUTE

EACH SITUATION

IS DIFFERENT

EACH THOUGHT

OF CIRCUMSTANCE

MAY BE NOT THE SAME

BUT TO A HEART

THAT HAS

HURT FOR

MANY MANY

YEARS

OVER

THE HOLES

THEY LEAVE

IN MY HEART

TO THOSE

I DON’T KNOW

YET STILL

LEAVE A MARK

SO MANY SCARS

YET I STILL

HAVE HOPE

I STILL LOVE

AND I STILL

CARE

AND I CRY

CAUSE I CARE

AND CARRY ON!!!


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