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Poetry and Writings

DIRECTED AND UNDIRECTED NETWORKED EDGES


DIRECTED AND UNDIRECTED

EDGES

S.JENSEN © 2017

TIME HEALS THEY SAY

YET IT SO TOOK TIME

TO BE INSPIRED AGAIN

SO HARD IS IT

SOME DAYS I SAY

FUCK IT

JUST GIVE UP

GIVE IN

YET SOMETHING

WON’T LET ME

SILENCE DEAFENS

WORDS I NEED TO FIND

BUT LOST

ALL SOMEHOW

ANYHOW

ALONG THE WAY

I CAN’T

BE THE ONLY ONE

IN THIS NOW

WHEN I CAN’T SEEM

TO WRITE

WHEN I CAN’T SEEM

TO PAINT

WHEN I CAN’T SEEM

TO THINK

WHEN I CAN’T SEEM

TO READ

FOR WHATS ON MY MIND

WEIGHS SO HEAVY

CAN’T BE ALONE

IN THAT

CHANGED IN THE BLINK

OF AN EYE

THAT INFINITE TIME

OF LIFE

HOW SLOW THAT

INEVITABLE MOMENT

CAN BE

I CAN’T SEEM TO FOCUS

HERE ALONE

SOME DAYS THE MAD MUSE

STRIKES

AND I CAN CREATE

IN MADNESS

WORDS AT LEAST

TO SOME DIRECTED DEGREE

OR ANGLES OF STROKES

THAT DELINEATE

EDGES TO PAINT

THE THERAPY OF THAT

DEFINABLE MOMENT

YET ITS IN

A MADNESS

OF TRYING TO

COVER UP

ALL THAT BOILS

BELOW MY SURFACES

ITS SO CRAWLING

OUT THE WINDOW

DROWNED INSIDE

EMOTIONS

IN LEARNING

DESIGNING

DRAWING

YET SOMETIMES

THE SPARKS SO LEAVE

ME LACKING

AND LOST WHEN GONE

OH SO FREAKING

LOST WHEN GONE

WHEN I AM NOT CONNECTED

CHANGED EVERYTHING

IN YOU

IN ME

CARRIED ON

FOUGHT YEARS

TO BE WITHOUT FEAR

IT LEAVES A HOLE

THAT THIS HEART

CAN’T REPLACE

IN THE WITHOUT

I SIT HERE

LISTENING TO

FRIENDS WORDS

CONFIDED AND LOST

IN MY WAY OFF

THOUGHTS

LOYAL AND DEVOTED

TO SOMEONE

I WAS SO NOT

AND SO UNDONE

I COULD NEVER HAVE

BELONGED TO ANOTHER

AND I KNEW IT

YET GOD HELP ME

GOD HELP US BOTH

IT STILL CREEPS IN

I STRUGGLE

WITH IT CONSTANTLY

TO MAKE THE HEART GO ON

WHEN IT LOVES

BOTH SO DEEPLY

AND LEAVES

THIS CRAVED OH DAMN

FEELING

TO BE NEAR

A FRIEND SO DEAR

GOD IT CHANGED

ALL IN IT

HOW COULD IT NOT

WEEKS OF SO CALLED

HEALING

COMBATING COMFORT ZONES

EMBARRESSED

EXPRESSIONS

AND PAGES UPON

PAGES OF THOUGHTS

PUSHING THE MIND

PUSHING THE BODY

PUSHING EVERYTHING

REFUSING CHAOS

ITS RULE

YET SO CHAOTIC

SCATTERED THOUGHTS

ARE ARRANGED

CAN BE JUST

NO OTHER WORD FOR

IT BUT NOT THE SAME

WHEN FORCED

TO STAY AWAY

CAUSE OF THE ATTRACTED

MADNESS

OF THE UNTHINKABLE

DARKNESS

GOD ANGER RAGED

IN ME

WANTING JUSTICE

FOR THAT WHICH

I KNOW NOT WHERE

TO PLACE IT

IF NOT HALF ON MYSELF

I BATTLED TO LEARN

WHAT I CAN

OF THE INSIDES

AND OUTSIDES

OF COMPUTERS

NOT KNOWING ANYTHING

AND DOING WHAT HAD TO BE DONE

RACED TO FIGHT

RAGED ON

WITH A SHADOW BY

MY SIDE

NOW IS IT DONE

OH HOW FOOLISH

AND OH HOW IT CHANGED

ALL INVOLVED

SOMEDAYS I WONDER

IS MY SOUL DOOMED NOW

AS MY HEART

SEEMS SO LOCKED

ITS NOT SOMETHING

ONE CAN JUST

FORGET SO EASILY

THAT DESIRED CRAVING

SO CRAZY NOTION

IT SEARED MY BRAIN

ALONE YET NOT ALONE

NEVER EVER ALONE

KNOW TIME IS

TICKING AWAY

AS I STILL FIGHT

FOR TO LIVE

AND EXPRESS

MY TALENTED SELF

IN SOME FORM OF

PERSONAL PUNISHMENT

FOR MY PART IN IT

OH TO THE EDGES

WE ALL RUN FROM

AND RUN TO

AND GOD DAMN IT

DO I MISS

THAT PART OF MY HEART

WHERE MY

UGLY OUTSIDE BEAST

MEETS MY INNER

DIVINITY

TO THE TOUCH

OF WYRD

IT CREATED

HUMAN INSANITY

STRUCK

LIKE A LIGHTNING BOLT

NO OTHER WAY

TO EXPLAIN IT

FROM WHO I WAS

TO WHO I FOUND OUT

WHO I AM

AND TO EMOTIONS

OF WHAT IT ALL FREAKING MEANS

OH MY FEELINGS

IN THOSE WORDS

SPOKEN

I CAN’T HELP YOU

GO BACK

THE DEEP CONNECTION

OF RUNNING

IN BETWEEN

SPACES I KNOW

NOTHING ABOUT

AND YET

FOUGHT SO HARD

TO STAY

AND STAY I AM

FOR NOW

HOW LONG

I HAVE NO CLUE

OF WHO YOU ARE

WHAT IT DONE

TO US ALL

LEAVES NO WORDS

BUT

FRIENDSHIP

OF A HIGHER PURPOSE

OF A LOVE

TRANSCENDING

AND CASCADING

WATERFALLS

OVER FLOWS

WHERE IT HAS TO BE

LEFT

OH THIS JUGS

ETERNAL WATER

NO ONE HAS EVER

PENETRATED

TO THE CORE

OF THIS SOUL

SO MUCH

IN SUCH SHORT TIME

MY SOUL

IS HARD WITH IT

CONSUMED

OVERWHELMED

AND LEFT IN

EDGES

SO DIRECTED

AND UNDIRECTED

LIKE MATH

IN AND OUT

OF MY BRAIN

FOR I CAN’T SEEM

TO LIVE WITHOUT

YET I CARRY ON

LIKE A ZOMBIE

INSIDE

AND EXPRESS

OUTSIDE SO

METAPHORICALLY

JUST LOST

GOD I AM SO

ALONE

SO KNOTTED

BY EVERYTHING

AND I HAVE NO ONE

TO BLAME

BUT MYSELF

AND YET

I AM NOT ALONE

IN THAT

OH TO MORTAL LOVE

AND HOW IT

HAS DRIVEN

ME COMPLETELY

TO THE EDGES

IN A SPACE

ONLY EXPRESSED

WITH TEARS

A DEAR JOY

AND SADNESS

MET ALL IN ONE

HOW DO WE GO ON

SO FAR APART…

OH GOD

ITS LEFT A HELL

OF A MARK

I CAN’T BE

THE ONLY

ONE

ITS SO

CHANGED

...

PATTERNS

EDGES

CRAVINGS

AND DESIRES

OF SINS

I NEVER COMMITT

YET OH MY MIND

SO CREATED

SO DELIVERED

AND SO NOW

JUST SITS

ON A EDGED LEDGE

OF HOW DO

I GO ON

HOW DO I LEAVE

IT JUST LEAVE IT

AS IT SEEMS

I HAVE FOR FEW

YEARS BEEN

FORCED TO DO

LOST ALL

TO HOLD MY HEART

TRUE FOR WHAT

ENDING...

I CAN'T BE IN

THAT ALONE...

ITS TOO DEEP IN MY

CORE NOW...

SO I JUST EXIST...


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