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Poetry and Writings

one last thing to say


ONE LAST THING TO SAY

ON ALL THIS I BEEN DEALING WITH

I HAVE BEEN WHO I AM

A VERY LONG TIME

AND I WILL NOT CHANGE

FOR ANYONE

I WILL NOT REGRET

NOR WILL I BE UNDONE

OR HATE A SINGLE PERSON

BECAUSE OF THE HACKS

AND DESTRUCTION DONE TO ME

I POSTED MY FEELINGS

ON A PAGE THAT WAS ONLY

SAYING EXACT WHAT I FELT

I CRIED TO A SONG

THAT I LOVED

I AM DONE

BEYOND DONE

I HAVE NEVER HURT A SINGLE SOUL

AND I WON'T START NOW

BUT BECAUSE I POSTED THAT

AND POSTED MY FEELINGS ON HERE

MY OWN BLOG THAT

NEVER EVER REFERS TO ANYONE

BY NAME OR HARMS A SINGLE SOUL

BY EXPRESSING MYSELF

HAS NO CONNECTION

TO ANYTHING OTHER THAN

MY FEELINGS TO EXPRESS

MY HEART OUT

AND RELATE TO HOW I FEEL

THERE WILL NEVER BE

ANOTHER POINT IN MY

LIFE THAT REGRET ANYTHING

IT CAUSED MAJOR HAVOC

TO TWO SIDES

MINE AND MY FAMILY

AND THE OTHERS FAMILY

AND NONE OF IT EVER SHOULD

HAVE CAUSED HARM

BUT I WAS LIED TO

I WAS MADE TO LOOK

A FOOL AND HURT

AND TORTURED FOR MY FEELINGS

AND I WALKED AWAY LONG AGO

BECAUSE OF IT

AND THE FACT SOMEONE

TRULY HAS SOME KIND OF

MAJOR MALICE FOR ME

WANTING TO CONNECT WITH A

FRIEND I HELD DEARLY

THEY TWISTED EVERYTHING

AND HURT SO MANY IN THE PROCESS

AND I AM DONE

I CAN'T POST

MY LOVE FOR SOMEONE NOW

CAUSE I DO LOVE THEM ITS

NOT GOT A DAMN BLOODY THING

TO DO WITH THE FACT I AM GAY

OR THAT I MEAN ANYTHING

BUT A FRIEND THAT LOVED

A FRIEND AND

SOMEONE SO TWISTED IT

AND TORE MY HEART OUT

IN THE PROCESS

AND STILL DOES

I WANT WHO EVER THEY ARE

TO KNOW I UTTERLY DONT

GIVE A GOD DAMN FUCK

ANYMORE

I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE

TO BE ME AND TO LOVE

MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY

AND CARRY ON

CAUSE THE HARM DONE

IS BEYOND ANYTHING I CAN

NOW HANDLE

ITS PUSHED ME TO THE BRINK

THREE DAYS AGO I HEARD A SONG

I LOVED THE SONG

IT MADE ME CRY AND CRY

AND IT WAS HOW I FELT

HAD NOT A GOD DAMN THING

TO DO WITH ANYTHING ELSE

BUT CAUSE I LOVED A SONG

I NOW HAVE NO WIFI ROUTER

AND A LOCKED FUCKED COMPUTER

THAT I HAVE TO WIPE CLEAN

AND START OVER

I HAVE A HARD DRIVE I CAN'T

ACCESS CAUSE THEY FUCKED IT

AWHILE AGO

IT HAD ALL MY ART

ALL MY WORDS

ALL MY BOOK

ALL MY LIFETIME OF STUFF

THAT WAS MINE PURELY MINE

THE HARM THAT HAS BEEN DONE

IS NOW TO A POINT ITS OBSERD

HOW MANY EMOTIONS CAN

ONE PERSON HAVE TO FUCKING

ENDURE AT THE HANDS

OF SOMEONE I CAN NOT

FIGHT OR WIN

I NEVER HARMED THOSE I LOVED

I NEVER HARMED THOSE I STILL LOVE

I NEVER EVER DONE A DAMN THING WRONG

I WANTED A FRIEND THAT

I HAD ONCE

THAT WAS ALL

BUT IT CAUSED MORE MORE SO MUCH MORE

PAIN TO MY PERSONAL HEART

AND LIFE THAN ANYONE CAN

IMAGINE AND FOR WHAT

GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING REASON

CAUSE I CARED TO LET WHO I WAS

BE SHARED AND IT

CAUSED PAIN BEYOND PAIN

I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO

AND I LOVED FREELY

BUT I HAD NO BLOODY IDEA

THE FOOLISHNESS OF MY HEART

IT WOULD FUEL A FIRE

TO MAKE ME SO ANGRY

SO SAD AND SO HURT

THERE IS NO REPLACING THAT HURT

IN ANY WAY...

I WALKED AWAY THINKING

IT WOULD END

BUT ALL IT DID WAS

FUEL A FIRE TEN TIMES WORSE

TO ATTACK ME OVER

AND OVER AND OVER

FOR A LOVE OF MUSIC FOR

GOD DAMN CHRIST SAKE

FOR A LOVE OF A PERSON

THAT MANY ABOUT SAY 3MIL

LOVED AND LOVE I AM ONE OF MANY

AND YET I HAVE BEEN SINGLED

OUT AND UTTERLY HORRIFICALLY

TORTURED BY ATTACKS TO MY

ELECTRONICS WHICH I DESPERATELY

HOLD TO BEING AS POOR AS I AM

AND ITS MY LIVELIHOOD FOR I AM

AND ARTIST A DIGITAL ARTIST

I AM BEING PUT IN A SPOT

THAT SOMEONE CERTAINLY

DOESN'T WANT ME TO HEAR

THE MUSIC THAT IS COMING OUT

AND FRANKLY I THINK

WHAT THEY DO WHO EVER THEY

ARE IS BEYOND SICK

FOR WHAT HARM HAVE I EVER DONE

NOT A GOD DAMN THING

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ME

AND TRIED TO JUST BE ME

AND SAID I DIDN'T DESERVE THIS

UTTER HELL AND NO I DON'T

DESERVE IT

SOMEONE EARLY ON

ATTACHED THEMSELVES

TO ME AND HURT MY STUFF

WITHIN A WEEK OF POSTING

STUFF TO A MUSIC FRIEND

A FRIEND

NOTHING MORE NOTHING LESS

SOMEONE I LOST TRACK OF

WHO I HAD TALKED TO

IN MY PAST

I HAD NO ILL FOR HER

NO ILL FOR HER HUSBAND

NO ILL FOR HER FAMILY

NO ILL FOR HER FRIENDS

NO ILL FOR HER KIDS

I RESPECTED IT ALL

AS MATTER OF FACT I HAVE

MY OWN KID

MY OWN LIFE

I JUST WANTED TO SHARE

A BIT OF ME

CAUSE I THOUGHT IT

WAS SO OK TO DO SO

TO SOMEONE I REALLY DIDN'T KNOW

BUT LOVED IN MY HEART

ALL THEY STOOD FOR

AND BECAUSE OF IT

I HAVE SPENT YEARS

BEING ATTACK FROM

ALL KINDS OF DIRECTIONS

IN ALL KINDS OF WAYS

AND I AM SO DONE WITH IT ALL

I DON'T HATE

AND THEY WILL NEVER MAKE ME HATE

I WILL NEVER HARM

AND THEY WILL NEVER MAKE ME HARM

BUT I FEEL SO WRONGED

BY THIS ITS NOT SOMETHING

I CAN DO ANYTHING ELSE BUT CRY

I AM NOT AFRAID TO TELL

MY STORY NOW NOT ONE BIT OF IT

CAUSE IT HAS ANGERED ME

BEYOND ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS WORLD

HOW FUCKING DARE SOMEONE

KEEP ME FROM MUSIC

KEEP ME FROM A FRIEND

HOW FUCKING DARE THEM

I WALKED AWAY

I KEPT MY HEART TO ME

I LET GO OF SO MUCH

IN HOPES THAT WHO EVER

KEEPS DOING THIS TO ME

WOULD STOP

BUT NO THEY DON'T

THEY HAVE NO THOUGHT FOR ANYONE

BUT THEMSELVES

THEY WANT NOTHING BUT

TO HARM AND TAKE AND DESTROY

AND THAT GOES AGAINST EVERYTHING I AM

AND BELIEVE IN

TO THE INVISIBLE GOD DAMN PEOPLE OR PERSON

THAT CONTINUES TO CAUSE ME PAIN

GO FUCK YOUR SELF

CAUSE I DON'T GIVE A GOD DAMN FUCK ANYMORE

IF I COULD TELL THOSE I KNOW

ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE HOW I FEEL NOW

THEY CAN KNOW JUST ONE THING

FRIENDSHIP I HAVE IN MY HEART

WILL NEVER EVER DIE

NOR BE CHANGED NOR BE HARMED

NOR BE DESTROYED

I AM DONE I CAN'T TALK

I CAN'T EXPRESS MYSELF

I CAN'T BE ME

AND STILL CARRY ON

WHEN I SIMPLY LOVED MUSIC

TO BEGIN WITH THAT WAS WHAT IT WAS

IT GOT SO WRONGED

AND CUTS ME TO THE CORE

I AM NEVER EVER GONNA BE THE SAME

OVER THIS

AND I AM SO DONE ITS LIKE

PLEASE LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE

I HAVE NEVER HARMED ANYONE AT ALL IN MY LIFE

NOR WILL I BEGIN NOW

BUT ALL THAT HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM ME

NEEDS TO TOTALLY KNOW

I AM OVER IT...

BEYOND OVER IT...

AND MY HART IS MIJN HART

I WILL NOT CRY ANOTHER MOMENT

AND BE DESTROYED FOR WHO I AM

FOR WHO I CARE FOR

OR WHO I CHOSE TO BE FRIENDS WITH

THAT SO BECAME LOVE NOW

A LOVE THAT WILL OVERCOME ANY HELL

GIVEN TO ME

EVEN IF I DIE OVER IT I WILL NEVER

EVER HATE

I SWEAR I WILL NEVER GIVE IN TO

THIS KIND OF TERROR

THERE IS NO JUSTICE IN THIS TREATMENT

FOR FREAKING LOVE OF ANOTHER HUMAN BEING

FOR LOVE OF TWO HUMAN BEINGS

FOR LOVE OF MUSIC THEY PRODUCED

NOR FOR THE TORTURE I WAS PUT THROUGH

STILL PUT THROUGH

NO I WILL NEVER EVER BE THE SAME

BUT I WILL NEVER HATE

AND NEVER FEAR

AND NEVER SEE OR KNOW THE DEPTHS

OF WHAT THIS COST IS TO ME

TO THEM

TO ALL PEOPLE THAT LOVE

MUSIC FOR WHAT IT IS

AND FOR PEOPLE FOR BLOODY HUMANITY

AND THE LOVE OF HUMANITY

AS A WHOLE YOU MOTHER FUCKERS WILL

NEVER MAKE ME HATE OR FEAR

OR HARM NEVER

I AM DONE

LEAVE ME ALONE

LEAVE THEM ALONE

THAT IS NOTHING BUT FUCKING TORTURE

AND WRONG BEYOND WRONG

NOW LEAVE ME BE

I WON'T LISTEN TO WHAT I LOVE

I WON'T BE UNDONE BY IT

BUT I WILL KNOW THIS HAS

SO TORTURED

THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT

ME NOT TO LISTEN TO IT

NOT TO HEAR IT NOT TO KNOW THE TRUTH

FROM DAY ONE I WALKED IN

AND EXPRESSED MY HEART

TO A FRIEND THEN WAS ATTACKED

WITHIN A FEW DAYS OF

BEING HAPPY TO FIND A LONG LOST FRIEND

I AM COMPLETELY TORN INSIDE AND OUT

WHY ON THIS EARTH

DOES SOMEONE HATE ME SO DAMN MUCH

I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND

THAT KIND OF TORTURE

SO KNOW YOU KEEP ME FROM

HEARING WHAT I DESERVE TO HEAR

BUT I WILL NOT HATE

I WILL NOT HURT

I WILL NOT DO A DAMN BLOODY THING

BUT I WILL FIND AWAY TO HEAR WHAT

IS SUNG CAUSE ITS MUSIC

AND MY CORE BEING LOVES MUSIC

I AM BEYOND HURT

TO MY FRIEND I KNEW I WOULD NEVER

GET TO SEE YOU TO BE THERE

I JUST WANTED TO BE FRIENDS

BUT GOD IT GOT SO FUCKED

I WILL NOT BE UNDONE

HUN I CARE HOPE THIS BATTLE CAN BE WON

BY YOU IN FIGHTING WHO EVER THEY ARE

CAUSE I AM DONE

I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE

I CONTINUE TO BE ME

AND WILL ALWAYS BE ME HERE

AND AS LONG AS I STILL LIVE

I WILL REMAIN THE SAME

AND MY HEART WILL SO LOVE

FROM AFAR AS IT HAS SINCE I KNEW

IT WAS YOU BUT WHAT IS BEING

DONE IS AWFUL BEYOND AWFUL

LOVE MY FRIENDS ETERNALLY

AND NO ONE ELSE WILL EVER TAKE THAT

AWAY FROM ME NO ONE

SO TO THE ONES MESSING MY STUFF UP

HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL

CAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT EVIL FOR IT

SO EVIL FOR IT

DONE... NOW I GO

CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP

OVER THIS HELL I HAVE BEEN ENDURING

PROBABLY IS WHAT THEY WANT

BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT CRY

I AM FIN...


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