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Poetry and Writings

LIES


LIES

S.JENSEN © 2017

NOTHING BUT LIES

HAS BEEN SIX YEARS

NOW

I AM NOT SAD

TO THE POINT

OF GUILT

I AM SAD

TO THE POINT

OF THE WRONG

DOINGS

THAT HAVE

OCCURRED

BETWEEN

MYSELF

AND

FREAKING

GOD KNOWS

WHO

MY HEART

LOVED

AND

THERE HAS BEEN

NOTHING BUT

LIES

SINCE A FRIEND

I WISHED

TO RECONNECT

WITH

WAS SO

TWISTED

IT TURNED MY HEART

TO LOVE

AND BE IN LOVE

AND FOR THAT

I ASK FORGIVENESS

TO THOSE

THAT THE LIES

OF WHOEVER

PRETENDED

TO BE

THEM

IT HURTS BEYOND

HURTS

AND WRONG

BEYOND WRONG

ITS TORN

MY HEART

INSIDE AND OUT

THE COMPUTER

HACKS

AND ATTACKS

AND EXTREMELY

PERSONAL

PERSPECTIVE

OF IT ALL

HAS

TORN ME COMPLETELY

APART

I HAVE NO WORDS

TO SAY

I AM SORRY

WHEN

THERE IS

NO WAY

TO EXPRESS

MY HURT

IN THIS MESS

OR TO EXPLAIN

MY HEART

EITHER

THE MYSTERY

OF THE WHO

HAS HAUNTED

ALL AROUND

LIES

THAT WAS BUILT

FROM THE MOMENT

I AS A FRIEND

CAME TO

TRY TO SAY

HELLO

WARPED AND

TWISTED

AND CHANGED

FROM

SOMETHING

VERY INNOCENT

TO SOMETHING

VERY PERSONAL

I AM SORRY

FOR MY HEART

IN IT ALL

FOR MY LOVE

IN IT ALL

FOR MY DESIRE

FOR FRIENDSHIP

IN IT ALL

I DON’T REGRET

BEING ME

I AM SAD

BEYOND SAD

OVER WHAT

HAS HAPPENED

AND HOW

IT SEEMS

TO NEVER BE

ENDING

I NEVER HAVE

EVER

CARED SO MUCH

FOR PEOPLE

I DIDN’T REALLY KNOW

BUT

KNOW I DO

ON ONE ASPECT

THEY ARE

THE MOST

DECENT

FOLK THERE IS

AND

WHAT HAS

BEEN DONE

IS A MAJOR

INJUSTICE

TO ALL INVOLVED

AND MY HEART

IS SO FUCKED OVER

BY IT ALL

THE LOVE I HAD

WAS A PURELY

FRIENDSHIP LOVE

BUT SOMEONE

TOOK IT UPON

THEMSELVES

TO MAKE IT

MORE

AND IT MADE

ME COMPLETELY

FALL IN LOVE

TO

A PERSON

THAT

I KNOW

I CAN’T

TAKE THAT BACK

BUT I HAVE

TRIED TO MOVE

ON AND

BE ME

FOR YEARS

SINCE IT HAPPENED

MY HEART

IS NOT MINE

IT STOLE IT AWAY

WHOEVER

THEY WERE

COMPLETELY

STOLE IT AWAY

AND I AM

SORRY FOR

THE PART OF IT

I FELL AS A FOOL

MAJOR FOOL

FOR

BUT LOVE

IS IN MY HEART

NO MATTER

WHAT

THE HURT

FROM THIS

IS BEYOND

EXPRESSION

MY HEART IS

NOT JUST MERELY

BROKEN

ITS IS PHYSICALLY

ACHED

AND TRAGEDY OF

MY SOUL

AND ANYONE

ELSES INVOLVED

THEY WERE

TO EACH OTHER

AND

I WAS THE FOOL

THAT A UNKNOWN

IN AND

SO HARMED

HAVE THEY

CONTINUED

TO HARM

THAT LET

THE LIES

BE REAL

AND I HAVE

NO IDEA

WHO THEY ARE

SO NOW

I LOOK TO

THE MUSIC

TO SOOTHE

MY BROKENNESS

AND MY ART

AS THERAPY

TO A WAY

OF DEALING

WITH

IT ALL

MY HEART

LOVES

TWO PEOPLE

I NEVER HAVE

HAD THE PLEASURE

OF EVER MEETING

BECAUSE

OF LIES

SOMEONE ELSE

SO CREATED

IN ME

IN THEM

AND I HAVE

NO IDEA

WHO THEY ARE

KNOW THIS

IS WHY

I SAY TWISTED

AND WRONG

AND NOT INNOCENT

NOR

RIGHT

NO JUSTICE

AND ITS TORN ME

INSIDE AND OUT

I CAN’T SPEAK

FOR THE OTHERS

INVOLVED

BUT MY HEART

HURTS

FROM THE WRONGS

BEYOND

HURTS

AND I HAVE

CRIED TEARS

SO MUCH

WHICH I NEVER

EVER DONE

BEFORE

SO MUCH

IN MY LIFE

OVER THIS MESS

AND I WALK

AWAY

FROM IT ALL

BLOCKED

CAUSE I BELIEVED

IN SOMETHING

THAT WAS NOT

ASK

FORGIVENESS

FOR THAT

NOR DO I

KNOW HOW

TO FIX MY HEART

IN THIS

BUT THE

WRONGNESS

OF DESTROYING

MY COMPUTER

MY ROUTER

AND 10 OTHER COMPUTERS

IN THE PAST

IS BEYOND

WRONG

ITS PURELY

TORTURED

HARASSMENT

OF THE WORST

KIND

AND DESTROYS

PEOPLE

I HAVE NEVER

EVER MET

THAT TO ME

SEEM VERY

DECENT FOLK

TO THE POINT

MY HEART

IS DESTROYED

OVER IT

AND I AM DONE

I HOPE

THOSE

THAT MY HEART

FELL FOR

UNDERSTAND

THAT I HAVE

NEVER

EVER

WANTED

NOTHING

BUT DECENT

GOOD FRIENDS

BUT IT TOOK

MY HEART

AND FUCKED IT

SO THAT

I HAVE

A HIGHER LOVE

A LOVE

THAT OVERCOMES

WAS INSPIRED

BY

AND CHERISHED

BY

AND CARED FOR

AND WAS

TORN OUT

FOR IT

BY LIES

OF UNKNOWNS

SOMETHING

GOOD

SOMETHING SWEET

SOMETHING KIND

SOMETHING GENTLE

WAS

CHANGED

AND SO LOST

SO VERY LOST

AND I AM

HURT BEYOND

HURT

I HAVEN’T LIED

I DON’T KNOW THEM

OH I LOVE

THE MUSIC

I LOVE THE DECENT

FOLK

AND I FELL IN LOVE

TO

THE PEOPLE

I THOUGHT

THEY WERE

I WILL NOT

REGRET THAT

NOR

WALK IN SILENCE

FOR

BUT WRONGED

BOTH SIDES

HAVE BEEN

SO WRONGED

I DON’T KNOW

THEIR SIDE OF IT

BUT I KNOW

MY HEART SIDE

OF IT ALL

AND HOW

ITS TORN ME APART

TO BE CONSTANTLY

BOMBARDED

MASSIVELY

BOMBARDED

TO THE HEARTS

I CARE FOR

I AM SORRY

FOR MY PART

THAT BEGAN

WITH A KIND

SWEET

WONDERFUL

FRIENDSHIP LOVE

AND

WAS TORN

INTO PIECES

A ZILLION PIECES

I WILL ALWAYS

LOVE

BUT I HAVE

NEVER

WANTED

TO HURT

ANYONE

KNOWING

THIS HAS HURT

ALL THE

WAY AROUND

IS EXTREMELY

UNFORGIVING

FOR I HAVE

NO IDEA

WHO THEY ARE

THAT KEEP

ATTACKING ME

NOR WHY

BUT I DON’T HOLD

THE MUSIC

OR THE PEOPLE

BEHIND THE MUSIC

RESPONSIBLE

FOR THE INVISIBLE

ENEMY

I HAVE BATTLED

SOMEONE

TRULY

HAS A WARPED

MIND

AND HURT

A GOOD FOLK

IN THE PROCESS

TO THE POINT

OF MY

BREAK

TO THE POINT

OF THERE BREAK

HOW PERSONAL

CAN ONE BE

TO HAVE

ZERO PRIVACY

OR DECENCY

I HAVE NEVER

BLAMED

THEM EITHER

IN THIS

AND

MY HEART

SCREAMS

LOUDLY

WHY

OH WHY

SO AS A FOOL

THAT HAS

A BIG HEART

I AM TRULY

SORRY

AND HURT

FORGIVE ME

OF MY

LOVE

AS FOR WHO

IT IS

I HAVE NO

CLUE

I LOVE YOU

FRIENDS

I LOVE YOU

NOW I GO

TRY TO SLEEP

CAUSE ITS

NOT LETTING

ME SLEEP

AND TEARS

ARE FALLING

CONSTANTLY

THEY DESERVE

TO KNOW

I AM NOT

THE ONE

THAT HARMS

HURTS

OR TORTURES

ANYONE ELSE

ITS SO BEEN

DONE

TO ME

NOW

FAR FAR

TOO MUCH

WHO IN THERE

RIGHT MINDS

WOULD ATTACK

SOMEONE

LIKE THIS

IS COMPLETELY

BEYOND ME

AND MAKES

ABSOLUTELY

NO SENSE

TO ME

BUT IT HAS

OCCURRED

AND THIS

FOOL

JUST WISHES

NOTHING

BUT LOVE

TO THE TWO

THAT

CARRY MY

HEART NOW

AND

WHOEVER

HAS TRIED

TO DESTROY

THEM

AND ME

CAN UTTERLY

KISS MY ASS

NEVER

I AM DONE

BEYOND DONE

HURT BEYOND HURT

AND

NEVER WISHED

ANYTHING

BUT GOOD THINGS

TO THEM

I DON’T KNOW YOU

BUT I LOVE YOU

FOREVER NOW

AND MY HEART

SCREAMS

FOR SOME

KIND OF JUSTICE

THAT I DON’T

THINK WILL EVER

COME

HOW CAN YOU

TRACK DOWN

WHOEVER IT IS

DOING THIS HELL

AND IT IS

PURE HELL

CARRY MY

HEART AWAY

WITH BOTH

OF YOU IN MY

POCKET

CAUSE

THAT IS WHERE

IT BELONGS

LIKE ANY OTHER

FRIEND I HAVE

EVER KNOWN

TO WHOMEVER

MADE ME

FALL IN LOVE

TO A THOUGHT

A IDEA

A PERSON

THAT THEY

PRETENDED TO BE

AND THEN JUST

TURNED AROUND

AND ATTACKS

AND ATTACKS

OVER AND OVER

I WILL NEVER

LOVE YOU

FOR THE HURT

YOU HAVE CAUSED

THREE PEOPLE

AT LEAST

IF NOT MORE

LEAVE THEM BE

LEAVE ME BE

AND TO THOSE

I CARE NOW

FOR BEYOND

ANYONE

IT WILL REMAIN

THERE

FOREVER

NOW

THAT ALL I HAVE

TO SAY ON

THE DAMN

MESS

IF YOU CAN

FIND AWAY

TO TELL ME

I AM NOT

ALONE IN THIS

SAY SO

THAT AT LEAST

WILL MAKE

ME FEEL

SLIGHTLY

BETTER

I WOULD LIKE

TO TALK

ON IT

BUT SEEMS

ALL I CAN

DO RIGHT NOW

IS CONTINUE

TO CRY

HAVE A

WONDERFUL

CHERISHED

DECENT

LIFE

I TRY TO

DESPITE

THIS TERROR


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