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Poetry and Writings

SECRET PASSIONS


SECRET PASSIONS

S.JENSEN (C)2019

THE VERY IDEA

OF WANTING

SEEMS ABSURDLY

IMPOSSIBLE NOW

AND NOTHING

FORMS ON MY MOUTH

NOR TO THINK

WHAT TO SAY

FOR EYES FALL

UPON HER

CONSTANTLY

PRECAUTIONS TO

THE WIND

DID I FLOW RIGHT

IN

ANYONE TO

THE NOTICABLE

ANYONOMOUS

WHIPPED AROUND

DEEP EMOTIONS

INTERTWHINED

US

LIKE A RAGING TORNADO

BLINDING AND

BINDING

IN SECONDS

HEARTS SO IN

ENTANGLEMENT

LOST TO THE MERE WIND

OF INSANITY

IN AND OUT THE

SPACES OF THE DAY

SHE CHOSE TO LEAVE

THE CRUEL WORLD

BEHIND

FOR THE AWFUL

WAY I FELT LEFT

ME IN GUILT

FOR HER BELIEF OF

MY BETRAYEL

HURT

FOR MY LOSS

THAT RAGES

DEEP WITHIN

CONSUMING AS IT

CONDEMNED ME

YET I

SURVIVED IN MANY

WAYS

THANKS

TO SPECIAL FOLKS

THAT HELPED CARRY ME THROUGH

SO I COULD LET

GO

AND YET I

STILL FEEL

LOCKED IN ITS

MADNESS

FOR ANOTHER

THAT SPARKED

A LUST

THAT DROVE ME

AND I GUESS

I WAS VERY WRONG

IN THINKING

IT WAS MUTUAL

HAS BOTH NOW

PLACED ME TO

FEEL ALONE SO

ALONE

IN THE LONGING

AS SECONDS

DASH PAST

RAGING SOUNDS

PASS INTO THE NIGHT

FASTER EMBRACING

A BLENDED VIEW

OF CHAOS

AND YET I SO

SOUGHT

PROTECTION

BY THE ANGELS

DURING THAT ENDURING

CRISIS

IN MY CURRENT

STATE OF

BEING VERY

HUMAN

HAS SET ONE

INTO THE MYSTICAL

BEAUTY

OH TO MY CONFESSIONS

I RAGED TO YOU

ALL STORIES

ALL FANTASIES

LOST IN YOU

I HAVE BEEN

IN LOVE TO

THAT I WILL NEVER

HAVE NOW

YET I KNOW

SO LOUDLY

THAT I FELL IN LOVE

TO AN

IDEAL POINT

OF ONE MOMENT IN TIME

EVEN IF I WAS

THE ONLY ONE

FALLING

LEAVES ME TO

THE PLACE WHERE

ITS STATED NEVER

AND SHE IS

FOREVER GONE

NOW

OH I WAS A FOOL

AND STILL FEEL SO

YES I HAVE FAULTS

I AM ONLY WHO I AM

NOT A SAINT

NOT A MUCH OF

ANYTHING

REALLY

VERY HUMAN

BUT HAVE I BEEN

SO WRONG

FOR TELLING

THE TRUTH

TO AN AMAZING

WONDERFUL

PERSON I SO CHERISHED

A MOMENT IN MY

LIFE WITH

SOME DAYS I WONDER

AND WANTED

TO BE MORE

CLOSER THAN

WE WERE

TO EXPRESS HOW I FELT

AND KNOWING

HOW DESPITE THE

WEIRDNESS

THAT FOLLOWED

WE STUCK TO EACH

OTHER

KNOW YOU HELPED

ME RELEASE

MY PARTNER

AND THE HOLD

SHE HAD OVER ME

YOU HELPED ME

RECOVER

AND REGAIN

AND BROKE ME DOWN

DEEP TO MY CORE

AND I STILL

CLOSE MY EYES

AND SEE YOUR

SHINING GLOW

OF EYES THAT DAY

AND ITS ALL I

THINK ABOUT

HAVE I BEEN SO

WRONG TO WANT

TO DELVE DEEP

INTO

US

TO FIND A FRIENDSHIP

THAT CAN CARRY

THROUGH

FOR THAT KIND OF

COMPANIONSHIP

IS ETERNAL

FOR I WANT...

TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS

YOUR VALUES

YOUR BELIEFS

YOUR LIFE

TO KNOW MORE

ABOUT YOU

YOUR BEING

TO SUCCUMB MY INTELLECT

INTO A MELDED

BOND OF YOUR

INTELLECT

STRENGTHENS

NOT WEAKENS

HAVE I BEEN SO

WRONG TO DESIRE

ALL OF THIS

AND MORE

I DWELL NOW

INBETWEEN

THE DARK NIGHT

AND THE MOON’S

ROMANTIC VISIONS

OF WHERE I WANT

SO BADLY TO BE

RIGHT BESIDE YOU

YET

I FEEL SO DENIED

SO ALONE

SO LEFT OUT IN THIS

AGAIN AND AGAIN

AND KNOW

I AM DEEPLY SCAR’D

AND SOMEHOW

I KEPT COMING BACK

DIDN’T WANT

TO GIVE UP

ON HOW I WANT YOU

HOW I FELT

YOU WANTED ME

ALL I DID

WAS FROM THE HEART

I AM SORRY

I AM STILL SWEET

KIND

FRIENDLY

WISE

AND MYSTICAL

YET I BECAME

FOR ONE MOMENT

IN MY LIFE

VERY HUMAN

FOR A BIT

TIL I PUSHED

TO THE BRINKS OF EACH

OTHERS WILLS

I PUSHED YOU

AWAY WITH

JUST BEING ME

AND THE COST

HURTS ME MORE

I SWEAR IT DOES

I SAID WAY

TOO MUCH

THAT I WILL NEVER

EVER HAVE

CUS I BECAME

A FOOL

WITH STRONG

PASSIONS

FOR YOU

FORGIVE ME

FOR INVADING

INTO YOUR PLACES

WHERE I ENDED UP

AND LOSING

YOU

AND ME

THE FRIEND

I NEEDED

AND NEED

CAUSE I PUSHED

TOO MUCH

AND BECAME

SOMETHING

OF HURT

I AM SORRY

FOR THE IMPRESSIONS

IT ALL LEFT

AND UNKNOWN

MESS THAT FELL

UPON ME WITH

A SWIFT RAGE

OF ATTACKS

WHEN BATTLES

REACHED MY DOOR

I FOUGHT

SPIRITUALLY,

MENTALLY,

AND PHYSICALLY

TO STAY HERE

AND BE STRONG

AND REAL

AND KICK ALL

THE DEMONS

BACK OUT

AWAY FROM ME

OVER AND OVER

AND I HAVE WON

FOR NOW

YET THEY SO

RAGING

EVERYWHERE

IN SO MANY

FORGIVE MY

INTRUSION

AS YOU CAME

AS UNKNOWNS INTRUDED

ON ME

BECAUSE

I DID SO

SORRY FOR THE HURT

I CAUSED

FOR MISSING YOU

AS MUCH AS I DID

FORGIVE ME

FOR LOVING YOU

I CAN’T HELP IT

FOOL FOR YOU

ALWAYS AM I

IN THIS LOVE

A FOOL FOR YOU

AM I THE ONLY

ONE

THAT EVER FELT

THIS WAY

SOMETIMES

I FEEL I AM

VERY LOST

I LOST MY

HEART IN YOU

LONG AGO

MY SECRET

PASSIONS

OF HOW I DESIRE

TO TOUCH

AND CARESS

AND HOLD

AND MELD

AND BLEND

AND BE

IN FIRE

WITH YOU

SEEMS SO

JUST USELESS

NOW

GONE

FADED

JADED

TORN

AND RIPS A HOLE

THAT WILL NOT

BE FIXED

LETTING GO

HAS BEEN

THE HARDEST THING

TO DO

BUT

I JUST THOUGHT

THERE WAS

WHAT APPARENTLY

WASNT

YET THOUGH

MY HEART SANK

INTO A DEPTH

OF THAT LOSS

AND KNOTS

STILL FILL MY THROAT

I THOUGHT

OUR FRIENDSHIP

WOULD KEEP

US TOGETHER

I AM FOREVER LOCKED

FORGIVE ME

MY DEAR

I SO TRIED

TO CONTROL

THAT WHICH IS BEYOND

A HUMAN TO DO

IS IT SO WRONG

TO EXPRESS THIS

TO DEEPLY

CRAVE

SUCH A HUMAN

ACT

OF TWO

GENTLE

SWEET SOULS

THAT FOUND

EACH OTHER

AFTER SO MANY

YEARS OF

NOT KNOWING

OUR KINDRED SOULS

LINKED IN SECONDS

AND FORGIVE

ME FOR CROSSING

THE LINES

I DIDN’T THINK

I DIDN’T USE MY MIND

I JUST FELL

AND OPENED MY HEART

WAY TO OPEN

FOR THE GODS CALLED

AND TOOK ME HOME

AND I SAID

I COULDN’T STAY

I WAS IN LOVE

I WAS BROUGHT BACK