SECRET PASSIONS

SECRET PASSIONS

THE VERY IDEA

OF WANTING

SEEMS ABSURDLY

IMPOSSIBLE NOW

AND NOTHING

FORMS ON MY MOUTH

NOR TO THINK

WHAT TO SAY

FOR EYES FALL

UPON HER

CONSTANTLY

PRECAUTIONS TO

THE WIND

DID I FLOW RIGHT

ANYONE TO

THE NOTICABLE

ANYONOMOUS

WHIPPED AROUND

DEEP EMOTIONS

INTERTWHINED

LIKE A RAGING TORNADO

BLINDING AND

BINDING

IN SECONDS

HEARTS SO IN

ENTANGLEMENT

LOST TO THE MERE WIND

OF INSANITY

IN AND OUT THE

SPACES OF THE DAY

SHE CHOSE TO LEAVE

THE CRUEL WORLD

BEHIND

FOR THE AWFUL

WAY I FELT LEFT

ME IN GUILT

FOR HER BELIEF OF

MY BETRAYEL

HURT

FOR MY LOSS

THAT RAGES

DEEP WITHIN

CONSUMING AS IT

CONDEMNED ME

YET I

SURVIVED IN MANY

WAYS

THANKS

TO SPECIAL FOLKS

THAT HELPED CARRY ME THROUGH

SO I COULD LET

AND YET I

STILL FEEL

LOCKED IN ITS

MADNESS

FOR ANOTHER

THAT SPARKED

A LUST

THAT DROVE ME

AND I GUESS

I WAS VERY WRONG

IN THINKING

IT WAS MUTUAL

HAS BOTH NOW

PLACED ME TO

FEEL ALONE SO

ALONE

IN THE LONGING

AS SECONDS

DASH PAST

RAGING SOUNDS

PASS INTO THE NIGHT

FASTER EMBRACING

A BLENDED VIEW

OF CHAOS

AND YET I SO

SOUGHT

PROTECTION

BY THE ANGELS

DURING THAT ENDURING

CRISIS

IN MY CURRENT

STATE OF

BEING VERY

HUMAN

HAS SET ONE

INTO THE MYSTICAL

BEAUTY

OH TO MY CONFESSIONS

I RAGED TO YOU

ALL STORIES

ALL FANTASIES

LOST IN YOU

I HAVE BEEN

IN LOVE TO

THAT I WILL NEVER

HAVE NOW

YET I KNOW

SO LOUDLY

THAT I FELL IN LOVE

TO AN

IDEAL POINT

OF ONE MOMENT IN TIME

EVEN IF I WAS

THE ONLY ONE

FALLING

LEAVES ME TO

THE PLACE WHERE

ITS STATED NEVER

AND SHE IS

FOREVER GONE

NOW

OH I WAS A FOOL

AND STILL FEEL SO

YES I HAVE FAULTS

I AM ONLY WHO I AM

NOT A SAINT

NOT A MUCH OF

ANYTHING

REALLY

VERY HUMAN

BUT HAVE I BEEN

SO WRONG

FOR TELLING

THE TRUTH

TO AN AMAZING

WONDERFUL

PERSON I SO CHERISHED

A MOMENT IN MY

LIFE WITH

SOME DAYS I WONDER

AND WANTED

TO BE MORE

CLOSER THAN

WE WERE

TO EXPRESS HOW I FELT

AND KNOWING

HOW DESPITE THE

WEIRDNESS

THAT FOLLOWED

WE STUCK TO EACH

OTHER

KNOW YOU HELPED

ME RELEASE

MY PARTNER

AND THE HOLD

SHE HAD OVER ME

YOU HELPED ME

RECOVER

AND REGAIN

AND BROKE ME DOWN

DEEP TO MY CORE

AND I STILL

CLOSE MY EYES

AND SEE YOUR

SHINING GLOW

OF EYES THAT DAY

AND ITS ALL I

THINK ABOUT

HAVE I BEEN SO

WRONG TO WANT

TO DELVE DEEP

INTO

TO FIND A FRIENDSHIP

THAT CAN CARRY

THROUGH

FOR THAT KIND OF

COMPANIONSHIP

IS ETERNAL

FOR I WANT...

TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS

YOUR VALUES

YOUR BELIEFS

YOUR LIFE

TO KNOW MORE

ABOUT YOU

YOUR BEING

TO SUCCUMB MY INTELLECT

INTO A MELDED

BOND OF YOUR

INTELLECT

STRENGTHENS

NOT WEAKENS

HAVE I BEEN SO

WRONG TO DESIRE

ALL OF THIS

AND MORE

I DWELL NOW

INBETWEEN

THE DARK NIGHT

AND THE MOON’S

ROMANTIC VISIONS

OF WHERE I WANT

SO BADLY TO BE

RIGHT BESIDE YOU

YET

I FEEL SO DENIED

SO ALONE

SO LEFT OUT IN THIS

AGAIN AND AGAIN

AND KNOW

I AM DEEPLY SCAR’D

AND SOMEHOW

I KEPT COMING BACK

DIDN’T WANT

TO GIVE UP

ON HOW I WANT YOU

HOW I FELT

YOU WANTED ME

ALL I DID

WAS FROM THE HEART

I AM SORRY

I AM STILL SWEET

KIND

FRIENDLY

WISE

AND MYSTICAL

YET I BECAME

FOR ONE MOMENT

IN MY LIFE

VERY HUMAN

FOR A BIT

TIL I PUSHED

TO THE BRINKS OF EACH

OTHERS WILLS

I PUSHED YOU

AWAY WITH

JUST BEING ME

AND THE COST

HURTS ME MORE

I SWEAR IT DOES

I SAID WAY

TOO MUCH

THAT I WILL NEVER

EVER HAVE

CUS I BECAME

A FOOL

WITH STRONG

PASSIONS

FOR YOU

FORGIVE ME

FOR INVADING

INTO YOUR PLACES

WHERE I ENDED UP

AND LOSING

YOU

AND ME

THE FRIEND

I NEEDED

AND NEED

CAUSE I PUSHED

TOO MUCH

AND BECAME

SOMETHING

OF HURT

I AM SORRY

FOR THE IMPRESSIONS

IT ALL LEFT

AND UNKNOWN

MESS THAT FELL

UPON ME WITH

A SWIFT RAGE

OF ATTACKS

WHEN BATTLES

REACHED MY DOOR

I FOUGHT

SPIRITUALLY,

MENTALLY,

AND PHYSICALLY

TO STAY HERE

AND BE STRONG

AND REAL

AND KICK ALL

THE DEMONS

BACK OUT

AWAY FROM ME

OVER AND OVER

AND I HAVE WON

FOR NOW

YET THEY SO

RAGING

EVERYWHERE

IN SO MANY

FORGIVE MY

INTRUSION

AS YOU CAME

AS UNKNOWNS INTRUDED

ON ME

BECAUSE

I DID SO

SORRY FOR THE HURT

I CAUSED

FOR MISSING YOU

AS MUCH AS I DID

FORGIVE ME

FOR LOVING YOU

I CAN’T HELP IT

FOOL FOR YOU

ALWAYS AM I

IN THIS LOVE

A FOOL FOR YOU

AM I THE ONLY

ONE

THAT EVER FELT

THIS WAY

SOMETIMES

I FEEL I AM

VERY LOST

I LOST MY

HEART IN YOU

LONG AGO

MY SECRET

PASSIONS

OF HOW I DESIRE

TO TOUCH

AND CARESS

AND HOLD

AND MELD

AND BLEND

AND BE

IN FIRE

WITH YOU

SEEMS SO

JUST USELESS

NOW

GONE

FADED

JADED

TORN

AND RIPS A HOLE

THAT WILL NOT

BE FIXED

LETTING GO

HAS BEEN

THE HARDEST THING

TO DO

BUT

I JUST THOUGHT

THERE WAS

WHAT APPARENTLY

WASNT

YET THOUGH

MY HEART SANK

INTO A DEPTH

OF THAT LOSS

AND KNOTS

STILL FILL MY THROAT

I THOUGHT

OUR FRIENDSHIP

WOULD KEEP

US TOGETHER

I AM FOREVER LOCKED

FORGIVE ME

MY DEAR

I SO TRIED

TO CONTROL

THAT WHICH IS BEYOND

A HUMAN TO DO

IS IT SO WRONG

TO EXPRESS THIS

TO DEEPLY

CRAVE

SUCH A HUMAN

ACT

OF TWO

GENTLE

SWEET SOULS

THAT FOUND

EACH OTHER

AFTER SO MANY

YEARS OF

NOT KNOWING

OUR KINDRED SOULS

LINKED IN SECONDS

AND FORGIVE

ME FOR CROSSING

THE LINES

I DIDN’T THINK

I DIDN’T USE MY MIND

I JUST FELL

AND OPENED MY HEART

WAY TO OPEN

FOR THE GODS CALLED

AND TOOK ME HOME

AND I SAID

I COULDN’T STAY

I WAS IN LOVE

I WAS BROUGHT BACK

SO I CAME BACK

AND AS I SLOWLY

WORKED THROUGH IT

I LOST IT ALL

BUT HEART

STILL BEATS

AND STILL DREAMS

AND STILL

FEELS

KNOWING THAT

THE KISS

THAT BROUGHT

ME SUCH JOY

WILL NEVER

AND

TO ONE SEEN AS A FAKE

REPRESENTATION

OF WHAT

I REALLY FELT

WAS MUTUAL

IN HEART TO HEART

FORGIVE ME

FOR MY SECRET

PASSIONS

TO HOLD YOU

TO LAY IN YOUR ARMS

TO SMELL

YOU

TO FEEL YOU

TO BE WITHIN

THE LOVING GRACE

OF THE ONE

I LOST

ITS HARD TO

LET GO

CUS I MISSED YOU

SO MUCH

IT CHANGED ME

IT GAVE ME STRENGTH

AND SEARCHED

AND WITHSTOOD

SO MUCH

IN THE PROCESS

YOUR LOVE

WAS IN MY HEART

AND KEPT ME ALIVE

AND THOSE WORDS

I HEARD

RIPPED IT RIGHT OUT

AND STILL DO

AND HOW IT OVERWHELMED

ME TO REACT

IN A VERY BAD WAY

BUT THE GODS

SAID NO YOU

CAN’T STAY

WE SEND YOU BACK

SO I AWOKE AND

SO I AM HERE

FOR BETTER OR

WORSE

I CAN’T EXPLAIN

HOW I LOOK AT

THE STARS AND

WISH ON EVERY

ONE THAT SHOOTS

FOR LOVES GRACE

TO SOOTH

MY DEEP ACHE

IN YOU

FORGIVE ME

FOR IT

FOR PLACING

YOU THEN IN THE FRIEND

SPOT

WHEN I REALLY DIDN’T

EVEN KNOW

YOU

AS I HOPED TO BE

SO FOOLISH

CUS I FELT

THAT WOULD

CORRECT

MY WRONG DOINGS

OF BARGING IN

ON A SPACE

I HAD NO OTHER WAY

OF WISHING

I SPOKE MY

THOUGHTS

AND GOT SO

RIPPED UP FOR IT

FOR MY

FORBIDDEN

VIEWS OF US

FORGIVE ME

FOR CHERISHING

A MEMORY

I KNOW

AND I STILL CHERISH IT

I CAN’T HELP BUT NOT EVEN

ALL THE HURT

ALL THE LOSS

ALL THE TIME

AND THE EXTREMES

THIS HAS PUSHED US

BECAUSE

OF A MOMENT IN TIME

THAT ONE SECOND

WHERE I WANTED

THE SAME THING

AS YOU WANTED

ARMS OUT

ON THE BOW

AND MY ARMS

AROUND YOUR

WAIST

THE MOST

ROMANTIC SCENE

OF ALL

IS LOST FOREVER

AND WENT DOWN WITH HER

I CAN’T LISTEN TO CERTAIN

SONGS

EVER SINCE

WITHOUT CRYING

OR SKIPPING THEM

BECAUSE OF

THE HURT

AND WRONGNESS

SO YOU KNOW THAT

CUS

I NEVER FORGOT IT

MY HEART

WAS SO FROZEN

AND STILL IS

WITHOUT YOU IN IT

“WHY DID YOU

LEAVE ME IN THIS”

SO CRUEL

AND PLANNED

DARKNESS

TO BLOT MY SOUL

AND YET

I REFUSE

TO LET HER

DO SO

IT DIED WHEN

SHE DIED

AND I LEAVE

IT THERE

EVEN

NOW

TO THE MOMENT

WE WALKED AWAY

CAUSE WE HAD TO

AND HOW MY CRIES

HAUNTED YOU

FORGIVE ME

FOR THAT

I NEVER EVER

WISHED IT

TO BE SO HARSH

I SO MISSED YOU

MY DEAR

BUT I LIVED

I DIDN’T DIE

I LIVED SO MANY

YEARS

FIGHTING

EVERY SECOND

AGAINST ALL KINDS

OF THINGS

BECAUSE I HELD

ONTO THAT

MEMORY

OF YOU AND I

LIKE FORGED METAL

THE WORDS

IN THE SONGS

TORTURED

AND HAUNT

AND CUT

MY HEART

KNOWING

MY HEART IS GONE

AND I

DON’T KNOW

HOW TO GET IT

BACK

IN A SPACE

THAT LEFT ME

HERE

WITH A LAST

GOODBYE

OF HOPE

EVIL HOPE

THAT WILL NEVER

ALL DIED

WITH YOU

AND

I SIT HERE

LEFT IN ITS WAKE

HARSH WAKE

THOUGHT IT WAS

THERE

SOMETHING MAGICAL

BETWEEN US

THAT MOMENT

WILL NEVER

BE AGAIN

AS LIFE GOES ON

AS WE KNOW

IT CLEARLY DOES

WORLD AROUND ME

GOES ON AS IT

TURNS

AND

NOW IT LIVES

SO STRONGLY

IN THE PAST

I UNDERSTAND

IT ALL NOW

AS THE FIRE COOLS

TO COALS IN GLOWING

EMBERS

I SO STILL

FEEL DEEPLY

CONNECTED

FORGIVE ME

FOR IT ALL

THOUGH SHE

RIPPED IT RIGHT OUT

I FIND WAYS

TO KEEP

A STRONGER HOLD

TO LIFE

THIS PRECIOUS LIFE

ONE DAY

SOMEONE

WILL FILL MY HEART

WITH JOY AGAIN

AND I WILL

NOT LET IT

CUS I CANT

EVER LEAVE THIS

BEING HUMAN

CONTACT FEELING

OF BEING ALIVE

IN YOU AND I

WILL REMAIN

AS IT ALWAYS HAS

THAT SPOT

OF SECRETS

I SO HAVE TRIED

TO THE POINT

I HAVE GIVEN UP

TRYING

I JUST PAINT MY LIFE

AWAY

I WON’T TAKE YOU

FROM YOUR LIFE

I WOULD BE SO

WRONG FOR IT

I JUST WANT

WISHED

TO BE

IN IT WITH YOU

I AM SO

SORRY

AND WHAT SHE

HELD SHE TOOK

WITH HER

IN ANGER AND

REGRETS

I LOVE YOU

@}--’----------

ALWAYS

EVEN AFTER

THAT DAY

I WILL NEVER

WATCH THAT

MOVIE AGAIN

I HIDE THE

PASSIONS OF IT

IN A BOX

WHEN SHE

CAME TO

TAKE FROM ME

WHAT SHE

FELT

TO HURT MORE

I WILL

NEVER EVER

LET THAT

MEMORY

BE TAKEN

EVEN FROM HER

GREEDY

SELFISH

ACT

BUT BECAUSE

OF THE HURT

I CAN’T

GO THERE

BUT I CAN

“GO ON”

SINCE 2011

I HAVE TRIED

SO HARD

TO DO SO

HAD MANY

ROUGH DAYS

SINCE

AND 2014

BEING THE

LOWEST POINT

EVER IN MY LIFE

CHANGED MY LIFE

ENTIRELY

FOREVER

IT PUTS A PIT

IN YOUR STOMACH

THAT DOES NOT

GO AWAY

;

I LIVE ON

AND ERASE

THE MEMORY

THAT HURT

YOU AND I

AND

RIPPED

US ASUNDER

SHE IS NOW

DOWN IN

THAT OCEAN

BUT SHE CHOSE IT

I WILL NOT

I AM STRONGER

AND SOMEONE

SPECIAL

WILL REMAIN

THERE

IN THAT TIMEFRAME

IT WAS

LEFT ME COLD

LOST

AND ALONE

I AM NO LONGER

LETTING

IT KEEP ME

THERE

I AM SORRY

FOR TELLING

YOU EVERYTHING

BUT TRUTH

IS TRUTH

AND I WONT

EVER

MAKE THAT MISTAKE

EVER AGAIN

TO THE

PERSON

THAT COMES INTO

MY LIFE

TO STAY

IF THEY DO

I WILL TRY

MY BEST

TO LET THEM

IN MY HEART

IN A NEW SPOT

FOR SHE

IS GONE

AND THAT

PERSON

WILL

THE MARK

OF MY LIFE

ON MY HAND

FOR A LOVE

THAT DEEP

WILL NEVER

FADE

AND

YOU KNOW

WHO YOU ARE

SECRET PASSIONS

OF A HUMAN ANGEL

LOST IN TIME

OH SO VERY

HUMAN

AM I

LOVE

I HAVE

NO REGRETS

WE LIVE ON

WHERE OTHERS

DON’T

IN OUR REALITY

IF NOWHERE ELSE

WILL I LIVE

IN YOU

AND YOU IN I

MY DEAR

FRIEND

I HAVE A BAD

HABIT OF

CROSSING LINES

OF FRIENDSHIP

TO PARTNERSHIP

BLURRS SO FAST

AND

NOW THE EMBERS

SEND TEARS

TO FORM

HOLDING THEM

BACK

STRANGERS

IN THE MOONLIGHT

IS THIS WHERE

WE REMAIN

PROBABLY

I AM SO

SMALL IN THE

SCENE OF THE

UNIVERSE

LITTLE ANTS WE ARE

I AM ENTITLED

TO MISS

AND

TO BE STRONG

IN THIS

AND WHAT

SHE DID

STILL CUTS

TO THE BONE

LEAVING MY

BED SO ALONE

RIPPED THE

UNICORNS HORN

RIGHT OUT OF

ITS CHEST

AND

THIS MESS

HAS LEFT

OUR SOULS

TO LIVE IN

SEPARATE WAYS

MY PARTNER

I AM ALONE

WILL SOMEONE

COME

CARRY MY

HEART INTO

THEM

SO I DON’T

HURT ANYMORE

CUS I NEED

A HUMAN HUG

AND UNDERSTANDING

TO HELP

IN THIS

“GOING ON”

PROCESS

IS IT YOU?

STACY I LET YOU GO...

Susanne Jensen Art

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Poetry and Writings

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