HEART of a ROSE

(This is about a time when I was hurting from the past of a lover that passed away)

Heart of a Rose

_____________

In the Tranquil silence

I sit thinking of memories faded

Dreams lost goal of wishes piled like

a million drops of water in a well

Dark and Cold lonely in a sea

of Beauty long forgotten

Once upon a time long long ago

This Heart now black and blue wrinkled

with age broken and jaded in view

I had felt happiness

yet its always fleeting away

like a Thief stolen locked away

without a key to Love

to release the soul

that wishes to Soar among the stars

Always out of Reach

Always told Sorry

but your just not enough

you'll find someone else

someday that will treat you better

you will see...

onward I raised my kid alone

searching in places

where others hearts beated

but no not to mine

always the outsider

Sometimes this Heart

would try so eager

Once she even sent her

white lighted spirit to the darkness

to Touch another with her

magic there in the night

Like no other before and

it was returned for as always

for a little while but

in the pouring rain

on a phone

she was told the other

didn't believe the magic of love

anymore so she cried a river

that none could see

for it was raining

and it is raining

still in that memory

the same tears of a heart broken

of being let go

so she locked her heart away

and never looked back

never called again

Darkness fell soon after

ripping her from all

she had ever known

it was no longer safe and secure in

her own home her life

almost taken as well as her kids

by the miracle of God

she survived alive

the only one thing

of love she held on too

fought the man who had invaded

her world tearing it all away

never to be the same

alive but the light inside

struggled fighting fear

itself many times since

One day later

she allowed her heart

to try again to be

released it lasted for years

fine and strong all fear lost

Then the other heart

struggled inside with

other demons never

able to set their heart free

from the past feeling hopeless

that their was no tomorrow

despite the fact the purple

rose was still there

that heart later finally

got its wish

by putting the light out

never understanding

Why Love wasn't enough

to hold her heart near

It now never heals

the wounded scar ever present

This Time it took its toll...

The heart of this Rose

now feels it will never see

Happiness but in

moments of Friends

This boat she is in

the sea of loneliness apart

of her wants to try again

but she is now forever afraid

her Heart is a Curse

that she will always

be the one Loved

but Let Go

that isn't a time or place

on this planet among

the masses

that her white light can shine

It sits on a window still

flame is dim but its not going out

until God comes an

takes the breath of the flame out

It wonders what purpose

its all been for

It wonders why its a beacon lost

It wonders if it will ever hear

the heartbeat of Love again

or is it now left to only memories

that are fading in time

She walks alone eyes

full of sadness

hidden behind a wall of everyone else...

A Rose in the cold ground

under the snow

always left behind

never to shine

So now she sits

just existing and waiting

never seeking never hoping

Just Dreaming the days away

in and around the tears

that come pouring like Rain

in a shower for others

never to see how deep the

Pain goes forevermore.